iPod Karaoke with Organization XIII
by chaostition
Summary: For 13 days, I gave Organization XIII my iPod. For the same 13 days, I gave the resident troublemakers a video camera. This is what happened.... And yes its stupid... Rated T for language. I would like for you listen to the songs as you read if you can!
1. Khaos Theory

**Disclaimer**: Not a Mary Sue because I don't try to disguise my self! I own my iPod. I don't own the songs or the bands. I don't own the Organization even though I wish I did… Especially Xemnas!!

**Xemnas**: What? Why-- Wait… Do I want to know?

**Khaos**: You'll be my Bodyguard!!

**Xemnas**: O.o

**Khaos**: It'll be cool with your light sabers! X pretends she's fighting with her own light saber X

**Xemnas**: THEY'RE AERIAL BLADES!!

**Khaos**: Shut up! You'll see why you should listen to me in a minute.

On with the Fic!!

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It was a dark, stormy night at The Castle That Never Was. Khaos was stealthily making her way through the air vents, a classic maneuver. She heard voices coming from the meeting room. Her spying was going perfectly until the air vent gave way and she went falling down into the center of the room. "My back!" She screamed after landing terribly. She looked up to see thirteen sets of nobody eyes on her. _Don't panic… Don't Panic… Okay panic now. _"Every(no)body! Down here! Right now!!" She screamed again. The Superior sighed, "Let's go play in the delusional world of yet another fangirl."

All thirteen slipped off their chairs, floated to the ground, and landed gracefully on the floor. "Damn it, I wish I could do that!" The impatient Superior growled, "What do you want this time Khaos?" Khaos searched in her pockets, pulled out a red rectangle, and gave it to Xemnas, "Ta-Da!! I want you all to go through my iPod and find a favorite song on there." Xemnas pinched the bridge of his nose and silently counted to ten, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't crush this under the heel of my boot right now."

"I have the laptop and I can make you do whatever," she grinned evilly, "or whoever I want." The entire Organization changed their expressions very quickly. "Is that good enough, Superior?" Khaos asked mockingly of him. Xemnas' grave face nodded.

"Ok, I'll be back in thirteen days to get my iPod and find out which song y'all chose. My iPod better return to me in the condition it is now or else…" She forewarned. They all nodded. "Good, now as you were." They returned to their seats high above the floor and the meeting continued. She began to look around. No door… "Umm… Excuse me." Khaos interrupted again. Xemnas looked down, "I'll humor you because you asked nicely. Now, what is it?" Khaos asked sheepishly, "How does one get out of here, per say?" "We teleport," Xemnas replied, "duh…" "Um, since I can't do that, can I get someone to get me out of here?" She asked innocently. Xemnas began to retaliate, but was reminded of the "whatever or whoever" remark, "Who do you want?" "Axel," she chose, "and his little shadow, Roxas."

The two young men, jumped out of their chairs, and eagerly pushed Khaos through the portal. They arrived in a hallway outside the room. "Thanks for getting us out of there," Axel said. "Meetings are such a drag." Roxas looked at Khaos quizzically, "Can you really make us do whatever you want." Roxas hit him self on the head extremely hard, with no reason whatsoever, "What the-" Khaos chuckled, "You believe me now?" Roxas nodded in shock.

"But anyway, I have a special mission for you," Khaos said searching through a bag. "I know at some point, well, interesting things will happen in the presence of my iPod," she pulled out a video camera, "and I need you to document it." Axel smirked, "What kind of interesting things?" Khaos returned the smirk, "Mainly singing and dancing as a result of exposure to the music." Roxas looked to her with his big, innocent blue eyes, "Why have two of us in charge of the camera?" "One of you," Khaos pinched his cheek, "needs to film the other. I expect both of your times on camera to be really silly! And if my camera does not return to me in the condition it is now, you both will be screwed by Mar-Mar for the rest of your pathetic nonexistent lives!"

The young men nodded gravely. "Great! Now could one of you make me a portal to my house?" Axel replied, "Sure, where do you live?" Khaos grinned, " I live at (a secret location that she doesn't want to be known by the readers . . I'm paranoid okay?)" Axel nodded and opened the portal. "Thanks! Have fun you two!!" she waved goodbye and went through the portal.

The two returned to the meeting hiding their devilish smiles. Tomorrow began the reign of the video camera and iPod and no one, NO ONE, is safe…

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**Xemnas**: X staring at the screen in horror X You have a vicious, devious mind up there… I like it!

**Khaos**: X takes a bow X Thank you! Thank you! And I need you to review! Just to tell me how stupid this is even though I intended it to be.

**Xemnas**: Well, first I noticed that you—

**Khaos**: I don't need a review from you! I can control you remember!!

**Xemnas**: Ohhh…

**Khaos**: Press the purpleish-blue button and tell me what you think…

**Xemnas**: Wait who are you talking to? X Presses his face up to the screen X Hello? Anybody there?

**Khaos**: Get away from there! You're scaring them away!!


	2. Xemnas' Song: Vida la Vida by Coldplay

Xemnas: X Munches on popcorn X

Khaos: And what do you think you're doing.

Xemnas: I'm gonna watch the show! X Munch X

Khaos: No, no, no!! You're up first! X Takes popcorn X

Xemnas: Why…

Khaos: Number I! Hello!!

Xemnas: Oh yeah… X Walks away X

Khaos: X Munch X This is going to be fun… I again don't own anything…. X Sigh X

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The camera work was very shaky. Roxas was in front of him ushering closer to the cracked door. "That's funny," Cameraman Axel said, "the door to his room is usually locked." Roxas bent down and nudged the door open. Axel moved Roxas's head and filmed the interior room.

The Superior was in his room, at his desk doing some sort of work, listening to the iPod. He put his pen down and rubbed his temples. "This is boring!" Roxas ranted, but Axel hushed him. The Superior took a deep breath and began to… sing?

"_I used to rule the world _

_Seas would rise when I gave the word _

_Now in the morning I sleep alone _

_Sweep the streets I used to own_"

Axel and Roxas looked to each in bewilderment. They turned back to the singing Superior.

"_I used to roll the dice _

_Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes _

_Listen as the crowd would sing: _

'_Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!'_"

Roxas was trying his best to oppress his laughter, "Please tell me you're filming."

Axel replied, "Ohh, yeah!"

"_One minute I held the key _

_Next the walls were closed on me _

_And I discovered that my castles stand _

_Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand_

"_I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing _

_Roman Cavalry choirs are singing _

_Be my mirror my sword and shield _

_My missionaries in a foreign field _

_For some reason I can't explain _

_Once you go there was never, never an honest word _

_That was when I ruled the world_"

Axel's laughter turned to admiration, "He's actually good…"

"_It was the wicked and wild wind _

_Blew down the doors to let me in_

_Shattered windows and the sound of drums _

_People couldn't believe what I'd become_

_Revolutionaries wait _

_For my head on a silver plate _

_Just a puppet on a lonely string_

_Oh who would ever want to be king?_"

Axel chuckled dryly, "He's better than you, Roxas!"

Roxas huffed and kept watching Xemnas, who stood up at this point and began to walk to his bed.

"_I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing_

_Roman Cavalry choirs are singing _

_Be my mirror my sword and shield _

_My missionaries in a foreign field _

_For some reason I can't explain _

_I know Saint Peter will call my name _

_Never an honest word _

_But that was when I ruled the world_"

Xemnas flopped onto his bed and Axel compensated by standing up.

"_Ohhhhohhhhooooohh _

_Ohhhhhoooohhhhhoh.._

_Ohooooohhhhoh_

_Woooohhhhh_

_I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing_

_Roman Cavalry choirs are singing _

_Be my mirror my sword and shield _

_My missionaries in a foreign field _

_For some reason I can't explain _

_I know Saint Peter will call my name _

_Never an honest word _

_But that was when I ruled the world"_

Xemnas walked to his desk humming the last few notes of the song. He had just sat down in his chair when he saw the gleam of the camera lens. "Number VIII; XIII!? How long have you two been there!?" Axel chuckled, "Long enough!" Xemnas growled and lunged at the door. The two trouble makers jumped back so they wouldn't get caught in the rage of the Superior. Xemnas slammed the door and locked it with a loud click. The two looked relieved and amused. Axel put a finger over his lips and put his ear to the door. Sure enough, the Superior was humming the song again. The two went off searching for their next victim…

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Xemnas: You. Made. Me. Sing. X growl X

Khaos: I made you sing a fairly relevant song, and I made you sing it well!

Xemnas: Relevant? How?

Khaos: It's a song about a falling leader. The "Revolutionaries" would be Sora. Oh and the "St. Peter" part too.

Xemnas: St. Peter?

Khaos: In the English Version of the game, you're voiced by a guy by the name of Paul _St. Peter._

Xemnas: Oh Really? Well you learn something new everyday.

Khaos: X turns to the screen X I live on Chicken Biscuits and Red Bull, your reviews help too. Now review or I have the Sexman over here press his face up to the screen.

Xemnas: X Mouthful of popcorn X Wad 'id 'ew call 'e?

Khaos: Nothing! Nothing at all!!


	3. Of Happiness, Hair, and Hellfire

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Log in: Success!

Welcome back, Reader675849!

Khaos: Hi there!! I guess you came here for my sad, pathetic excuse of a sorta-kinda-crack-fic. I know it's kinda boring, but it's my creative release, ya know? I use this instead of a more destructive outlet… heh, heh… Well on with the story!

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"How come I don't get to film some?" Roxas whined. Axel was annoyed, "I have a steadier hand than you. Now shut up unless you want to be wearing an eye patch like _him_." Him is of course, their next victim—Xigbar. Axel poked the camera lens into the doorway. Xigbar was cleaning his guns like every gun owner should do with the now infamous red rectangle plugged into his ears. He began to sing faintly,

"_She's not a girl who misses much_

_Do do do do do do do do, oh yeah_"

"Wait a minute," Axel said, "I know this song…"

Roxas looked to him, "Really?"

"_She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand_

_Like a lizard on a window pane_

_The man in the crowd with the multicoloured mirrors_

_On his hobnail boots_

_Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy_

_Working overtime_

_A soap impression of his wife which he ate_

_And donated to the National Trust_"

Roxas spoke in complete confusion of the song, "What were these people on when they wrote this?!"

Axel replied, "This is The Beatles, man. During the time they reigned upon the rock world, everybody was on _something_!"

"_I need a fix cos I'm going down_

_Down to the bits that I left uptown_

_I need a fix cos I'm going down_"

Axel smirked, "Thus proving my theory…" Xigbar began to load his gun with his arrows, (Yes they are arrows!!) and began to repeat "_Mother Superior jumped the gun!_" Every repetition of the line came with Xigbar discharging his weapon and his rounds bouncing about the room. After his gun was out of ammunition, he began to sing to his gun.

"_Happiness is a warm gun_

_Happiness is a warm gun, mama _

_When I hold you in my arms _

_And I feel my finger on your trigger _

_I know no one can do me no harm_"

Roxas saw enough, "Dude let's get out of here…"

Axel refused, "No just one more –"

One of Xigbar's Gun Arrows flew through the opening between the door and the frame and proceeded to slice off a perfect slice through Axel's spikes.

Axel wide-eyed and angry, "Ok, we'll leave now."

Roxas couldn't hide his smile, let alone his laughter. He took the camera and showed that Axel's perfect hair was no more, "This is why you should never, ever spy on Xigbar…" He turned off the camera and stuffed it into his pocket. Axel was fuming. Roxas smiled innocently, "Hey, why don't we head to the kitchen and get something to eat? I'll even let you set the toaster on fire." Axel crossed his arms and walked beside Roxas (why didn't they teleport? It takes a lot out of a Nobody!).

Somewhere on the third floor, the two met up with their previous victim, Xemnas. "Where is the camera?!" The Superior bellowed. Roxas looked up to Number I, his big blue eyes bigger than ever, "Whatever do you mean, Superior?" Xemnas turned to Axel for a response. He knew when Number VIII was lying. However, Number VIII stood there arms crossed and nostrils flaring in anger; Xemnas thought he saw smoke at one point.

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, and his eyes drifted to the gaping hole in Axel's hair. He opened his mouth to comment on the abnormality, but was stopped by Number XIII waving his hands wildly to get The Superior's attention. Roxas silently signaled, "DON'T ASK ABOUT THE HAIR!!" Xemnas was too stubborn to take advice from an underling, let alone the lowest man on the totem pole. He defied Roxas' warning and asked, "Number VIII, what exactly happened to your hair?" Axel stopped breathing and, if he had one, his heart would have skipped a beat. Roxas stared, mouth agape, at The Superior.

Axel huffed, "My hair?"

Roxas warned Xemnas a second time, "I suggest you get out of here before you become Johnny the Nobody Torch."

Roxas ran for his life while Xemnas defied the warning a second time.

"My hair!?" Axel bellowed. Xemnas not only saw smoke, but flames from Axel's nose.

_He won't do that to me. I'm The Superior, _Xemnas thought.

"MY HAIR!!" Axel screamed a final time before he exploded.

Yes, exploded. There is no other way to describe it. A wall of fire flew out in every direction from The Flurry leaving charred walls, a scorched floor, and an incredibly singed Xemnas. The edges of his robe were glowing with embers, his hair was nothing but smoldering fuzz and his skin went from medium to well done.

Axel sighed and a smile came across his face, "Thanks Superior, I feel much better after venting." Axel patted Xemnas' shoulder and put out a small fire. Xemnas cringed. As Axel walked away, Xemnas fell to the floor.

After lying in pain for what seemed like eternity, the two came back. Axel walked right on by while Roxas stood over Xemnas. Roxas bent over and said softly, "I know what I'm about to say to you is childish and will probably get me in trouble later on," Roxas pulled out the camera to capture Number I's face, "but I told you so!!"

Xemnas tried to think of some witty remark and a punishment to match, but his brain felt like a lump of charcoal right now, "Get Vexen, and tell him to bring all of the medical supplies here!"

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Khaos: I hope that was more entertaining than chapters past!

Xemnas: x in bandages and on pain meds x What was that for?

Khaos: You showed up late! x turns to Reader675849x Please press the button in your bottom left hand corner and review. They'll help to pay for Xemnas' treatment, Axel's hair extensions, and new flooring and wallpaper for the destroyed hallway. Thanks!!

x turns back to Xemnas x Hey you kinda look like DiZ now!

Xemnas: x glares daggers x


	4. No such thing as Sympathy

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! It's that short. It's that sweet.

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"These next few days are going to be EPIC!" Axel declared, wearing a baseball cap to hide his 'bald' spot. "While Xemnas is recovering, Xigbar is in charge so, we have free reign over this castle!! Free reign, Roxas!"

"Huh?" Roxas looked up from his book, "I wasn't listening."

Axel shrugged and pulled his "little shadow" along with him, "Come on. We gotta go see if Xaldin is doing anything with the little red rectangle of doom."

Roxas stood still, resisting his friend's ushering, "On one condition. I get to film."

Axel handed him the camera, "Can we go now?"

Roxas turned on the camera, "Lead the way."

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After several minutes of walking, The Key to Destiny and The Flurry of the Dancing Flames arrived at The Whirlwind Lancer's door. They were a good three feet away from the closed door, but Xaldin's singing was so loud they didn't need to open the door. Axel opened the door anyway.

"_I am really special, cuz there's only one of me_

_Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy, the people are jealous of me_

_These are my love handles, and this is my spout,_

_But if you tip me over, than mama said knock you out"_

Roxas turned off the camera, "That's it. I've seen enough."

"What do you mean, Roxie?" Axel asked sweetly. "It's just getting good!"

"I say we leave," Roxas confirmed, "And I'm usually right." He turned away and started to leave. Axel didn't.

"_I am special, I am happy, I am gonna heave_

_Welcome to my happy world, now get your sh-t and leave!!_"

Xaldin turned to Axel and threw his multiple lances at Axel. Axel, in response, covered his vital organs. The lances slammed into the wall behind Axel, "Ha! You missed!!"

Axel noticed big, red chunks of hair falling to the ground as he looked down. He felt his head, expecting to feel his hair. Instead, he felt his smooth scalp. Axel picked up his baseball cap – or more accurately-- what was left of it. Axel then screamed.

"How long have you been there?!" Xaldin roared.

"uh- um—ah-" Axel stammered.

"I told you so," Roxas said in delight. He had been right three times in two days. He was on a roll.

"Xaldin angry! Xaldin kill idiots!" Xaldin roared with dark intensity.

"RUN!" Roxas screamed at the top of his lungs. For once, Axel listened.

Running through hallways, Axel began to think, "Have you noticed that, so far, no one's door has been locked?"

Roxas didn't really care, he huffed and kept running.

Axel thought out loud again, a dangerous move, "It's that authoress! She's the reason this whole gig has been way too easy. She's also the reason for my hair!!"

"Yeah, Axel, but she's the reason we're still alive right now! Be grateful!!" Roxas huffed. "Your hair, however, is because that you are in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Axel stopped and thought a second, "You know. I never saw it that way."

Roxas turned back and grabbed Axel by the hood, "Now is not the best time to wax philosophically!"

Axel was confused, "You've been hanging out with Zex again, eh?"

"Yeah," Roxas replied. "Unlike you, he's a good influence."

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Axel was winded, "Let's-huff- stop. I think we-huff- lost him…"

Roxas took some deep breaths until Xaldin ran around the corner, "No we didn't." He threw Axel's hood over his head and pulled the drawstrings tight. He pushed Axel into the nearest door.

That door was to the Superior's room. Xemnas was bandaged on his head and his left hand, but everywhere else seemed to be healing nicely. "Rosax?" The Superior slurred. Roxas took a closer look at his normally orange eyes to see they were heavily dilated. Vexen was making _very_ sure Number I wasn't in any pain. "Is that Axel? If sssoo, Imma gonna…" He flung out an Aerial Blade from his good hand.

Axel started to run away, but Roxas caught him by the shoulder. Roxas thought on his feet, "Umm… Superior? Axel has something to show you."

"I do?" Axel asked quizzically.

Roxas pulled down Axel's hood, "You see, Axel shaved his head so you wouldn't be the only one who… lacked hair."

"I did?" Axel stared at Roxas confused. A sharp jab to the side reminded Axel of his act of random kindness. "I did."

"He also has something to say to you," Roxas said with insinuating stares at Axel.

"I do?" Axel was playing dumb. Another jab brought back his common sense. "Oh yeah, I'm sorry about 'venting' on you."

A loud snore was heard on behalf of the Superior, whose meds made him extremely drowsy. "Huh?" Axel said. "I just apologized and he went to sleep!"

Roxas calmed his friend, "It's his medicine. He just couldn't stay awake." Another snore.

Axel smiled and grabbed the camera from his friend, "Look's like I'm going to owe him another apology…" He began to record the Superior's loud snoring.

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Ten awesomeness points goes to whoever can find the film cameo! It's that short. It's that sweet.


	5. Doctor! Oh, Doctor!

Thanks to all of you that reviewed! I thought I would get some major flamage because of this story. And I don't hate Axel's hair. He's just in the wrong place at the wrong time!

So you know the drill. I _still _don't own anything!

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Eleven of the thirteen members were in the meeting room. Xigbar was standing atop the Superior's chair, silently counting the members. "Nine, ten, and eleven… Hey, where's Vexen?"

The usually quiet Zexion gave an update on the Chilly Academic, "I saw him in his lab. He must have been really concentrating on whatever he was working on because it seemed he couldn't hear me."

"Could you see if he was listening to the iPod?" Axel asked.

Zexion shrugged, "That would be a logical explanation."

Roxas spoke up, "Axel and I will go see if he's okay!"

"Okay," Xigbar replied, "but when you find him, find me and tell me if he's alright. I called this meeting just to see if everyone was still alive. Dismissed!" He teleported away along with Axel and Roxas.

Larxene began to laugh, "What did Axel do to his hair?!"

"Rumor has it," Zexion said, "Axel shaved his head for the Superior, since he burned all of Number I's hair off." Xaldin smirked.

Larxene laughed even harder, "Xemnas is bald, too?!"

The other seven laughed as they teleported away one by one.

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Axel tapped the door to Vexen's lab. There was no answer. Axel smirked as he turned the doorknob, expecting it to open. His smirk faded because the door was locked.

"Oh, well," said Roxas. "Looks like we can't get in..." He turned to Axel, "Try it again."

Axel turned the doorknob, but it was still locked. "Got any more bright ideas?"

Roxas shook his head. Axel sighed as he reached into his pocket, pulling out twisted and bent pieces of metal.

Roxas raised an eyebrow, "What are those?"

"Tools of a wasted youth, my friend," Axel told his partner in crime as he picked the lock.

"I don't tell me you can siphon gas, too," Roxas sighed.

Axel turned the door knob open, "Okay, I won't tell you."

Roxas turned the camera on and documented Vexen. He was working on some experiment, and he was listening to the iPod. Roxas zoomed in on the scientist. He was mouthing the words but he wasn't singing.

Vexen picked up a vial with a blue-green liquid inside of it and a larger, white container with an image of skulls and crossbones on it. He proceeded to try to pour a very accurate amount into the vial.

Axel saw his chance to destroy Vexen's experiment. "HEY, VEXEN!!" Axel screamed hoping to startle the Chilly Academic.

Vexen didn't hear him however. He poured the correct amount of the dangerous chemical into the vial. He put it down and rolled away on a computer chair. The vial emitted a puff of smoke and changed to a silvery elixir. Vexen smiled.

"_They said all teenagers scare the living sh-t out of me_

_They could care less as long as someone'll bleed_

_So darken your clothes or strike a violent pose_

_Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me_

_Ohhh yeah!_

_They said all teenagers scare the living sh-t out of me_

_They could care less as long as someone'll bleed_

_So darken your clothes or strike a violent pose_

_Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me_"

Roxas turned off the camera and said, "That's all I need. Come on. Let's go see what he's working on." He pocketed the camera and entered the lab. Axel followed.

Vexen ripped the ear buds out of his ears when he saw them, his face a hue of red, "How long have you two been there?"

"Not long," Axel said with his usual charm.

"You missed the meeting," Roxas told Vexen, "and Xigbar wanted us to see if you were okay."

Vexen made an 'Ohhh' face and nodded.

"What 'cha working on?" Axel asked.

"An elixir to bring back hair," Vexen said. "I never thought we would need something like this until the," he pointed to Axel's lack of hair, "recent events. I think its time for a test to see how it will work on one of us."

"No friggin' way!" Axel refused to become a guinea pig.

"Come on," Roxas pleaded, "What could it hurt?"

"I've tested it on Dusks without any problems," Vexen continued, "except they were startled they had hair. I assume that you would be a perfect candidate for this."

Axel thought it over, "Okay I'll try it."

Vexen grinned as he poured out a small amount of the silver syrup into a small medicine cup. He handed it to Axel, who skeptically stared at it.

"Drink it," Vexen ordered.

Axel threw back the silver liquid, and swallowed before coughing. He regained his composure, "How fast is this supposed to work?"

Vexen didn't answer because he was rapidly fixing the antidote. He held the prepared orange liquid and gave it to Axel. He was about to drink it when Vexen stopped him. He waited a few minutes, "Okay, I think it's the right length now. Drink!"

Axel threw back the orange liquid, as before, and coughed, as before. "Man," He suggested, "please fix the taste of these things!"

"Excellent!!" Vexen grinned. He pulled open a drawer, and gave Axel a mirror. His hair was back, signature spikes and all, but…

"Oh my!" Roxas commented on Axel's new hair. "You look older than Vexen!"

Axel's hair was in his spikes, but the spikes were gray. Axel was shocked but more relieved than anything.

"Your hair," Vexen explained, "is gray because the potion is formulated for the Superior's hair. Oops."

"No, Vexen," Axel said, "it's cool. I can go have my hair dyed. I'm just glad it's back!"

"So," Roxas said, "How is Mr. Superior today?"

"He's almost completely healed," Vexen said, "thanks to the superhuman healing abilities of a Nobody. But he is cranky because I've started to pull back on his pain meds… a lot."

"Thanks a lot Vexen," Axel shook his hand. "You are officially my favorite out of the first six."

The blonde Roxas and the gray haired Axel walked to the door, "And not just for giving me back my hair, but because you can sing!"

Vexen was mortified, "W-wh-what?"

Roxas laughed, "And soon the whole Organization will know!"

The two troublemakers ran off before Vexen could make any threats.

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Ta- Da!! If a pirate could be here, s/he would say my next line, but I'll have to improvise!

X puts on a pirate hat X

Arrrrr-en't you glad I didn't use _Ice Ice Baby_?

X takes off the hat X

I better go check on the SexMan… but while I'm gone I wouldn't mind if you guys review! I better go see Dr. House for a gift for Mr. Superior. Heh, heh.

X walks off X


	6. And the Nominees are

Those ten awesomeness points are still up for grabs!!

And I still don't own anything!

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Roxas and Axel were playing cards in the elder's room. Axel had reddish- black goo on his hair.

"Have any four's?" Axel asked, holding about half the deck.

"Nope," Roxas said holding only three cards. "Go fish. So do you like my idea?"

Axel drew another card, "Yeah. But we need an English accent."

"'ot 'ny 'ings, ol' chap?" Roxas said in a horrid English accent.

"Kings I've got. But that accent will not work," Axel said as he handed over the card.

"Oh well," Roxas said, "but I still win!" He put down his cards.

"Darn!" Axel threw his cards down. "Best 8 out of 10?"

As Roxas stacked the cards back up, Luxord bust through the door, "There are my cards! Hand them over you bloody fools."

Roxas held the cards up, "We were just borrowing them."

"So?" Luxord snatched the cards up. "They are my cards!" His classy British accent echoed his anger.

Roxas' eyes lit up. Axel's mind soon followed. Luxord covered his eyes with one of his hands, "What are you two idiots thinking?"

"Oh, nothing," Roxas smiled. "I was just thinking how you would be a great voice actor."

"Yeah," Axel concurred. "You could do narrations for movies or video games or something!"

"Ahh," Luxord tried to crush their dream, "But the key word of that is act. And if you two nutcases can't remember, we're Nobodies. I doubt we can be even decent actors at best."

"But you are wrong," Roxas said standing up, "my friend. We remember what its like to have a heart. And as a voice actor all we have to do is pass the inflection along to a microphone. It's just like when you 'acted' mad at us for taking your cards."

Luxord thought it over, "And an actual job would benefit me how?"

"More munny for those beloved card games of yours," Axel reminded him.

Roxas nodded, "I'll help record your audition for you!"

"Okay," Luxord agreed, "if you guys tell me what exactly is on Axel's head."

"Hair dye," Axel said simply. "Vexen had to have a guinea pig before he could give his rapid hair growth serum to Xemnas. It ended up being the wrong color for me." He walked to his bathroom to wash out the dye.

Luxord shuffled through his cards, "Please tell me you didn't get any of that stuff on my cards."

Roxas held up a microphone, and a piece of paper with sets of lines on it, "I'll record when your ready."

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Roxas and Axel walked the halls of the castle they called home. They were looking for their next "contestant."

"Seriously," Roxas said, "do you think he's going to sing? He barely talks anyway."

Axel rolled his eyes, "The others never sung before. That iPod has done some strange things to the Organization."

Roxas nodded as he nudged the door open, "True. Let's see if he isn't an exception to the rule."

The Silent Hero was sitting on the edge of his bed reading. The iPod was on and he was listening to it. He however wasn't singing or acting anyway weird.

"That's it," Axel said as he turned off the camera. He entered the room and asked, "Hey, Lex! What 'cha listening to?"

Not looking away from his book, he held up the iPod showing the display.

"_Hum Hallelujah_ by Vitamin String Quartet?" Axel read. "I never heard of them."

Roxas took the iPod, "This is a part of their tribute to Fall Out Boy. I absolutely love what they do to the songs."

"F.O.B. is one of my favorite bands," Lexaeus said, "but I've never heard them like this."

"Remind me to listen to this on my day," Axel said to Roxas.

Lexaeus cocked his head to one side, listening carefully, "Vexen."

Axel looked at him confused, "What about Vexen?"

Lexaeus furrowed his eyebrows and said, "Singing…"

Axel punched the air in joy, "Jackpot!"

Numbers VIII and XIII ran down to Vexen's lab.

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Upon arrival, Axel warned in a low whisper, "He doesn't have the iPod to distract him so we have to be extremely quiet." Roxas nodded as he opened the unlocked door with the video camera rolling to document Vexen singing with gusto:

"_Mmm - but it's poetry in motion_

_And when she turned her eyes to me_

_As deep as any ocean_

_As sweet as any harmony_

_She blinded me with science_

'_She blinded me with science!'_

_And failed me in geometry_

_When she's dancing next to me_

'_Blinding me with science - science!'_

'_Science!'_

_I can hear machinery_

_'Blinding me with science - science!'_

'_Science!'_

_It's poetry in motion_

_And now she's making love to me_

_The spheres are in commotion_

_The elements in harmony_

_She blinded me with science_

'_She blinded me with science!'_

_And hit me with technology_"

Axel began to laugh, "Getting a little PG-13 there, eh buddy?"

Vexen stopped his lovely song and growled, "Give me that camera!!"

Axel ran off, while Roxas stuck around, "You didn't ask very nicely!" He proceeded to follow his friend. Vexen stayed there, knowing that brain would beat brawn… Someday…

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Back at Axel's room, Roxas was uploading, editing, and cutting the video clips from the past few days. He got them all in an order that satisfied them both.

"So you think the authoress will like this?" Axel asked.

Roxas was adding title sequences to the video, "Yep. May be next time you won't have to have your hair grown back." He stopped, "What should we call this?"

"Oh, that's easy!" Axel said as he typed the name into the required space.

"Isn't that a little cliché?" Roxas asked.

Axel laughed, "Isn't that the point, Mini- Zex?"

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Hmmm… I wonder what Axel and Roxas will be doing with the video clips and a British accent? I'm not trying to make fun of those with a British accent. I'm making fun of my fellow Americans who can't do a British accent to save their lives… More specifically: me.

Hugh Laurie (a.k.a House): Ha! Loser!

Khaos: What? (funny how I mentioned his character last chapter and now he's mysteriously here...)You are the completely wrong fandom! Anyway I think your "sophisticated car on Sophistication Street" is getting a ticket!

Hugh: Shut up...

Khaos: Hey, I've made everyone else sing. Why don't I get you to sing?

X turns to see him gone leaving nothing but a cloud of dust X

Oh, well. I guess I'll have to go all rabid fangirl on him and capture him against his will.

If I'm not back soon… just wait longer!


	7. Just a Typical Hat

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Organization XIII, the songs or bands featured here, or House/Hugh Laurie.

Hugh: X crawls across the floor completely bound in rope (think caterpillar) and yells but is muffled by the ropes X

Khaos: O.O You didn't just see that, okay?

X closes door so (insert reader's name here) can't see him anymore X

Hey, it's an authoress' right to dream! On with the Fic!

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"And cut!" Roxas said, switching off the record button. "I think that will be enough!"

"Good," Axel said. "I hate having to sound like that guy. It always gives me a sore throat."

Roxas added the new voice clips to their designated places, and watched them as a test. Everything looked in order, so Roxas saved his work. "Come on," Roxas said as he turned off the computer, "Let's go get footage of our next contestant."

"Today is Zex's day, right?" Axel asked as he picked up the camera.

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After having to pick another lock, Roxas and Axel watched The Cloaked Schemer rearrange his bookshelves, among other things…

"_Come on, can't I dream for one day_

_There's nothing that can't be done_

_But how long should it take a Nobody_

_Before they can be someone_

'_Cause I know there's got to be another level_

_Somewhere closer to the other side_

_And I'm feeling like it's now or never_

_Can I break the spell of the typical?_

_I've lived through my share of misfortune_

_And I've worked in the blazing sun_

_But how long should it take a Nobody_

_Before they can be someone_

_Cause I know there's got to be another level_

_Somewhere closer to the other side_

_And I'm feeling like it's now or never_

_Can I break the spell of the typical, the typical, the typical, uh huh_

_I'm the typical_

_I'm the typical_

_Can I break the spell of the typical?_

_Because it's dragging me down_

_I'd like to know about when_

_When does it all turn around?" _

Roxas turned the camera off, "He's most definitely going to Twilight Town."

Axel nodded, "Yup. But should he get plus or minus points for editing the song?"

Zexion turned and saw the two watching him. Roxas quickly slid the camera into his pocket. Zexion shook his head, "So it is true. You two are going around the castle video taping the effects of the iPod on us." He reached into his pocket for the iPod; he tried to put it on pause… "Ahh!" Zexion screamed as he pulled the ear buds out. They were buzzing loudly. The iPod had frozen up.

"What was that?" Axel asked.

"The iPod has been acting really, well, skitzy with me," Zexion replied as he reset the iPod.

"Skitzy?" Axel raised an eyebrow. "Is that a technical term?"

"For your purposes, yes it is," Roxas said before turning to Zexion. "What do you mean skitzy?"

Zexion wrapped the ear buds around the device, "It freezes up a lot mainly, sometimes it plays the wrong song."

Axel smirked, "Well what did you do to it? Will Khaos have to know?"

Zexion panicked, "Wait, it was like that when I got it! Go ask the others that! I'm innocent!"

Roxas took Zexion's fedora off of his desk and said in true _Casablanca_ style, "It looks like we've got a case, kid."

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They had asked Numbers II through V and had received the same response as Zexion.

"It's a dead end, ya see," Roxas said still wearing the hat and still using the impression.

"There's only one more person to ask," Axel stated. "And I would suggest you take off the hat and lose the impression"

"Okay," Roxas pouted. Axel knocked on the door and opened it. Roxas hung his hat on the doorknob.

Xemnas had his hair back and the bandages were gone. He was even walking around his room. His walk, however, looked more like an angry lion pacing its cage at the circus.

"What the hell do you two want?!" Xemnas roared.

"We haven't done anything to him today," Roxas muttered under his breath, "and he's already pissed."

"Well?!" The Superior roared again.

"We were wondering if you know anything about the iPod acting up," Axel asked without any inflection so he wouldn't anger the beast even more.

"Like how?" Xemnas calmed a bit.

"The iPod's been freezing up and the controls are going haywire," Roxas said.

"Yeah I noticed it!" Xemnas roared. "What about it?"

"The authoress may get extremely ticked off if we did it," Axel shuddered.

Xemnas reminded himself of the "Whatever or Whoever" remark of six days ago. "Well,

it was acting up when I got it. I looked through the Notes feature and she left some instructions for use. She also had a little side note saying that the device would act up sometimes and to fix the problem all we had too do is reset it."

Roxas and Axel nodded their heads in relief. "Thanks, Superior," Axel said as he walked out.

Roxas grabbed his hat off the doorknob and put it on, "_Here's lookin' at you, Kid._"

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Fedora: Wide- brimmed soft hat with a pinched top and the front of the brim pointing downwards. Often made out of felt. Related to the Britain's trilby. Think about Indiana Jones' hat.

Hmmm… this seriously makes me want a fedora!

X Unties Hugh and drags him along X

Onward to the local hat shop!!

Hugh: Help Me!!

Khaos: If you hush, I'll but you a hat!

Hugh:... Okay X Walks Beside her X

Khaos: I love bribery!

Hugh: Hurry up! I want my hat!!


	8. Crushes are a terrible thing Period!

Wow, so many reviews!! Thanks, you guys!! You all get virtual fedoras to wear!! So who am I on now? Oh, yeah! Saïx! This will be trouble… not to mention hard to write. Bear with me! But first on with the thinking cap! –Puts on her new fedora- Let's get this stone a-rolling!!

I don't own anything whatsoever...

_Is all that we see or seem,_

_but a dream within a dream?_

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"Enjoy this last day," Axel sighed. "Xemnas is going to be back in power come tomorrow morning."

"That is exactly why," Roxas paused as he typed something on the computer, "I'm trying to get as much done as possible with our little project. All we need to do is put in the remaining clips and the final voice clips."

"We got Luxord's lines and my lines," Axel thought, "but who is gonna be the girl? We can't get Larxene in on this!"

"Oh, you need not worry," Roxas logged into his email account, "my red haired amigo."

Roxas opened an email from the authoress that read:

_Hey Roxie!_

_So, how's it going with the "mission" I gave you? I guess everyone in the castle knows by now what you two are doing. However, I am extremely intrigued by this secretive project of yours. I'm dying to see it upon my return. _

_LUV's_

_Khaos_

**Attachment: lines.mp3 (34MB) **

**Download?**

**Decline?**

Roxas clicked the button and waited for his computer to accept the files. "I didn't tell her anything about it. I just told her that it was imperative to a surprise project we were making for her."

Axel nodded, "So no one but us knows about it."

"Knows about what?" Xemnas asked from the doorway. He glanced from Axel, to his new red hair, to Roxas and then to the computer.

The two panicked and tried to cover up the computer screen. The two jumbled responses of ignorance about their project.

An annoyed Xemnas glared at them, "Either you tell me what you two were doing or I'm going to take your computer forcefully."

Axel froze, mouth agape, trying to think of a witty response. Ever since he lost his hair, he hadn't been as quick with his sarcasm.

Roxas, however, was compensating for Axel's lack of wit, "We were… working on a present for your return. Since you've recovered so quickly, though, we're a little behind with it."

Xemnas crossed his arms and leaned against Roxas' door frame, "Really?"

Axel nodded, "As real as hearts!"

Xemnas came closer to them, "Can I see what you have so far?"

"NO!!" Numbers VIII and XIII screamed, shocking Xemnas.

"Umm, we mean," Roxas stammered as The Superior's icy glare sliced through them, "it wouldn't be a surprise then, huh?"

Xemnas' glare softened to an annoyed stare, "Okay, but I want to see it whenever you get done."

The two nodded eagerly. "And I'll give you two some extra time to work on it. That doesn't mean you guys get out of all your duties, but you do get out of a few. Your curfew is extended to midnight, you two can skip the afternoon meetings, and you two can take your meals to your rooms to have extra time to work on it."

The two boys thanked their Superior and ushered him out of the room.

"It's not perfect but I'll take it!" Axel said falling back on Number XIII's bed.

Roxas sighed, and began work on a new project, "Yeah, since you don't have to do the work."

"What do you mean?" Axel asked.

"I don't want to be completely lying to Xemnas, no matter how much I don't like him," Roxas said. "Anyway, I already have an idea of what we should do."

Axel sat up, "What?"

"You'll see…" Roxas said as his number one friend peered over his shoulder.

"Hey, buddy. Who taught you how to think so quick under pressure?" Axel asked. "Wait. I already know the answer. Zexion, right?"

"No," Roxas said typing away. "An even better influence taught me," he turned to Axel, "you."

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An hour later, Roxas' hands finally broke away from the keyboard, "Done, finally!"

"Let's see your masterpiece," Axel reached over to press play.

"Not now," Roxas said while standing up, "I don't want to sit at this device of torture anymore tonight."

"Then let's go on a hunt!" Axel said jolting to his feet.

Roxas grabbed the camera, "For more footage!"

"Talley- ho!!" Axel yelled as he ran out the door.

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The two tip-toed their way to Number VII's door _very carefully_. Saïx had a habit of seriously injuring those who interrupted "Quiet Time."

The camera was rolling and Saïx was singing… a very peculiar song.

"_Ive grown tired of love__  
__You are the trouble with me__  
__I watch you walk right by__  
__I smile, you do not notice me__  
__Treat me recklessly__  
__All you do is toss me pennies out__  
__But the silence in me is screaming__  
__Wont you come and get me?"_

Roxas raised his eyebrows while Axel was trying his best to stifle his laughter. Roxas didn't get what was so funny.

"_Was I a fool to think? _

_The way you looked at me_

_I swear you did_

_But you looked away too quick_

_Was I a fool, was I a fool to think_

_That you would take me home_

_As if I was yours_

_Was I a fool to think at all?"_

As Saïx repeated the chorus, Roxas began to ponder why Saïx would be singing this particular song.

"_You make a mess of me here_

_I dance a thousand steps for you_

_If you say yes to me_

_Ill be whatever gets you through"_

The last verse made a little more sense to Roxas. 'Dance a thousand steps' would be easy for the Demon Man Dancing in the Moon. But why…

Roxas' eyes opened wide. A little light bulb went off in his head.

Despite all forewarning, Roxas began to laugh out loud, "Look at little Saïx, singing a song for his crush, Xemnas!!" Roxas laughed even harder, as Axel stared at his friend in disbelief.

Saïx turned around, his cheeks pink, "I do not have a crush on The Superior! It's just a deep respect for him!"

"Ok," Roxas said, "so you have a man crush!" Axel snuck away to avoid Saïx wrath.

Saïx's pink hue turned to deep purple in anger, "Crush? I'll show you crush!" Saïx pulled his claymore out, his berserker stage apparent. Roxas stopped laughing and started running.

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Roxas made it to the very top of the castle, The Altar of Naught. Up here Kingdom Hearts shone it's brightest. Roxas had never really appreciated the view until now. He reached out for the moon thinking that he could touch it. Roxas' moment was ruined when Saïx huffed up the stairs.

Roxas realized his mistakes. He had nowhere to run, no one to call for help, and he forgot that Saïx was a moon element.

Saïx swung his claymore wildly at Roxas, who parried his every blow with his Keyblades. _Swing, ping, swing, clunk, whoosh, ping, ping, ping. _Saïx knocked Oblivion off the edge. _Swing, swing, clunk, foosh, ping—_Oathkeeper followed its twin. Roxas was left defenseless.

His options were limited: Be crushed be Saïx or play "Jump and Go Splat." He began to plead to Saïx, "I'm sorry. It was all in good fun! The camera wasn't even rolling when I said that! I think you're a really good singer!" He fell to his knees and bowed to Saïx. That was a terrible mistake. Saïx brought his claymore down, full-force, on Roxas' digits on his left hand.

Roxas screamed in pain. Even though Nobodies couldn't feel emotionally, they still felt physical pleasure and pain. Roxas looked to his hand and saw his fingers fade away into nothing. He screamed even louder.

Saïx stood above him, triumphant. His anger was spent. "Do not EVER enter my room again if you value your nonexistence."

Roxas looked up to him, eyes red with tears, and whimpered.

"Good," Saïx bellowed. "Now, LEAVE!!"

Roxas jumped up holding his own hand, nothingness seeping from it, and ran to the very stairs he entered upon.

Axel was on the bottom step, holding the camera. He turned it off, "Man, are you okay?"

"Did you get that on camera?" Roxas asked, sniffling. They proceeded down Ruin and Creation's Passage.

Axel was more worried about his friend, "I don't care about that—"

"Did you get it?" Roxas asked with even more intensity.

"Yeah, but-" Axel began.

"Good," Roxas said without the sniffles. He wiped the tears off his face with his good hand. The nothingness stopped seething from where his fingers used to be. Roxas held up his disfigured hand to Axel's face. Axel cringed at his best friend's misfortune. Roxas smirked leaving any sign of pain on the Passage as they entered Naught's Approach. Roxas then had his fingers reappear from the palm of his hand.

Axel's jaw hit the floor, "As Xigbar would say, 'You little sneak!'"

Roxas rubbed his "new" fingers. They were cramping from the lack of adrenaline and oxygen. He was double jointed, so his fingers could lay almost flat against his palm. He used a small portal of darkness to give the effect that his fingers faded away.

Axel smirked, "So, are you planning to use that incident against him?"

Roxas' smirk turned into a frown, "Hell, yeah! That son of a bitch is going to get a 'colorful' lecture from his 'crush.'"

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They entered Xemnas' room, Axel playing the freaked out friend who talked too fast and Roxas playing the speechless victim. Xemnas got Axel to slow down who explained that Roxas was just "walking by his room" when Saïx had "to just crush something!" Roxas ended up being in the path of his anger. Roxas had tried to run away until he hit a dead end. Saïx then crushed Roxas' phalanges to powder. Axel had saw the whole thing and immediately brought Roxas to where they were now.

"Go to Vexen," Xemnas ordered, "and see what he can do." Xemnas teleported away, to find Saïx no doubt.

Roxas and Axel teleported to Vexen's lab. "Hey, Vex!" Axel called to his favorite original member.

Vexen jolted awake; he had fallen asleep at his desk again, "Wha?" He rubbed his eyes.

Roxas chimed in, "Can you make it look like you had to attach new fingers onto my hand?"

"Why?" Vexen quizzed. He was still half asleep.

"Superior's orders," Axel said sweetly. "Let us borrow some gauze and we'll do it."

Vexen threw a roll of gauze to Axel, who explained the methods to their madness.

Roxas' ungloved hand had been bandaged all the way up to his elbow, "Who knows? Maybe Saïx's chair will be lower than yours now."

Vexen smiled. It would be nice to have someone to look down upon since his chair was the lowest out of the thirteen. Axel was done wrapping Roxas' hand and arm.

Roxas stared at his overly bandaged arm, "Don't you think that's a little much?"

Axel shook his head, "Actually, your fingers are connected to tendons that lead up to this little muscle group on the inside half of your elbow."

Roxas pointed to a spot on his arm.

"No," Axel moved his friend's hand to the forearm side of the elbow, "it's right there. Move your fingers around or make a fist and you'll feel them."

Roxas did so and he was surprised that it was those muscles that moved the hand.

Axel continued, "If Vexen were to put prosthetic fingers on you, he would have to attach them to this muscle group. Therefore, he would have to cut all the way up your arm."

Roxas looked to Vexen, who nodded in approval of Axel's theory, "But thanks to the super healing abilities of Nobodies, you wouldn't even have scars, and the prosthetics are going to be concealed under your glove so no one will have to know it's a fake procedure."

Roxas spoke up, "If someone doesn't tell that is." He looked accusingly at Vexen.

Vexen held up his hand as if taking an oath, "I don't like Saïx, either. He constantly trashes my lab if he can't find something. I won't tell."

"Thanks for the 'emergency surgery,' Vex," Axel said with a wink.

"It 'feels' much better now," Roxas winked also.

Vexen smiled sleepily, "Yeah, sure whatever. Can you guys leave? I'm ready to go to bed."

Axel and Roxas bid their mad scientist farewell, and made their way to Naught's Skyway. From that high point, they could see Xemnas' trademark fighting move. He was throwing buildings around. Even from this far away, they could still hear Saïx scream for mercy. They stood there for a time watching the fight.

"Revenge," Roxas said, "is a dish best served by moonlight."

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Ta-da!! My longest chapter in this fic! Yayness! But I guess I should have warned you about the whole "Roxas losing his hand part"… Sorry!

Xemnas: I'm back, too!!

Hugh Laurie: --Wakes up from a nap on the couch-- Who's that?

Khaos: Just some Nobody, Hun. Go back to sleep.

Xemnas: --pouts—I don't like that kind of irony…

Hugh: --about to fall back asleep but sits up—Wait. Did you just call me "Hun"?

Khaos: --turns to faithful readers—please review so the madness will stop. The song is _Fool to Think_ by Dave Matthews Band if you guys didn't know.


	9. DO NOT PRESS THE RED BUTTON

Hugh Laurie: --Wrapping up Khaos left hand with gauze—

Xemnas: What did you do to your hand? Did Saix smash your hand, too?

Khaos: No… I burnt myself…on a car door handle… --Sweatdrops--

Xemnas: --Laughs until he passes out—

Hugh: We didn't have time to tell him that the handle was solid chrome. And that you had second degree burns.

Khaos: So readers, please bear with me because I'll have to type with one hand.

--more cheerily—

Now those of you who have any common sense at all will know that Axel's up!! Now before I go all Class A fangirl, I'll wait for you to get your Axel plushies to join me in a good hearted squeal.

Hugh: What's Class A Fangirl mean?

Khaos: --Pulls up her profile showing a complete and detailed description of Fangirl Classes— See? I'd suggest my readers look at it, too. Just because I'm too lazy to explain it here.

Hugh: Okay… you are completely insane.

Khaos: What was your first clue?

Hugh: What class of fangirl are you for, say me?

Khaos: Class A! Duh!

Hugh: My character: House?

Khaos: A, again.

Hugh: Roxas?

Khaos: B.

Hugh: Xemnas?

Khaos: That special class known as D.

(They continue, as the Fic starts)

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Roxas and Axel were tossing a paper ball back and forth in Roxas' room, waiting for the Superior's "gift" to finish burning on to a DVD. Roxas' hand was still wrapped up, but it now had a wide, plasticky bracelet with a big, red button in the center. Xemnas had given him a "panic" button of sorts; if Saïx got near him and no one was there to stop him, all Roxas had to do was press the button and Xemnas himself would come to beat Saïx within an inch of his nonexistent life. Or so he was told…

Roxas was dying to test out his panic button. As the disc burned, Axel plotted their plan, "This plan is solid!"

Roxas heard a series of bell chimes, the official alarm clock of The World That Never Was. Well, it was to those who actually cared. This, thanks to the nature of Nobodies, was no one. "Oh, man," Roxas said wearily, "we stayed up all night."

Axel yawned, "The next time we hear those bells, it will be time for the meeting."

The bells would sing again in about an hour. Roxas popped the DVD out of the drive and into its case. He proceeded to hide the disc in a place where the authoress doesn't even know.

Roxas gave his partner in crime a grin, "Let's go see what's for breakfast."

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Roxas peeked his head into the big, white room that the Organization came to eat, and to meet if the chairs were malfunctioning…. Again.

Sure enough, Saïx was there, drinking his coffee. Saïx was apparently recovering, from the spat last night. Roxas was glad that he wasn't the only one who didn't get any sleep. Roxas stepped into the room gingerly, as Axel waited behind to watch from a safe distance. Roxas had the panic button, Axel didn't.

"Hi, Saïx," Roxas said timidly. Saïx looked up to him and merely grunted.

"I'm really sorry," Roxas said, "I didn't mean to upset you."

Saïx looked again, his stare lengthening.

Roxas opened his mouth again, "I know that you have a 'special feeling' for him."

Saïx closed his eyes and gripped his fists tightly, muttering a ten-count.

Roxas added insult to injury, "I know you're just ticked off that he isn't gay like you."

Saïx was silent for a moment. It was so quiet in the dining room that one could hear Saïx snap. Mentally… "I KNOW!!" _Berserker Stage Commence!!_

The claymore was out and Roxas pressed the button quickly. He fell to the floor, cringing, and praying that Xemnas would be there quickly.

Saïx held the weapon above his head, about to swing the full force of his wrath on to Roxas.

Saïx gathered all of his strength when Xemnas appeared from nowhere. He had his arms crossed and a glare that could kill.

Saïx lost all of his strength and the berserk look on his face left with it. His arms shook violently until he dropped the claymore. The handle of his weapon hit him square on the head.

Xemnas lunged at Saïx, grabbing the front of his cloak, scowling. Xemnas whispered something to Saïx, at a level which Roxas couldn't hear. It must have been bad because Saïx's eyes went wide in fear. Xemnas proceeded to throw Saïx into a portal of darkness.

Xemnas was crouched over from throwing Saïx, and his breathing was heavy. Xemnas took a deep breath and stood up straight. He straightened the front of his cloak and smoothed out his hair. He walked through the portal himself, yelling, "Number IV, get the straightjacket!"

Axel walked up to his friend, who was still on the floor, "Well, that was anti-climatic."

Roxas stood up, and dragged his friend through the portal that was still there.

They entered the lab to see Vexen and Xemnas grappling with the psychotic Saïx. They were trying to put Saïx into a secret room within the lab. Vexen was trying to push Saïx without any luck. Xemnas was having little luck also, until he stopped and kicked Saïx in the back of the knee. Saïx went tumbling forward into the room.

Vexen slammed the door shut, and leaned onto the other side of the door, holding it shut. Xemnas locked the door, turned around, and leaned against the door. Both were huffing, out of breath from the struggle; both slid down the door in tandem.

Vexen turned to the superior, "I don't EVER want to do that again."

Xemnas could only huff and nod in agreement.

"Darn!!" Axel slapped himself in the head, "A yaoi moment and I forgot the camera!"

Numbers I and IV looked at each other and scooted away from each other.

Xemnas stood first and brushed the dirt off his cloak, "At least your chair will be higher now, Number IV."

Vexen stayed seated; he was still winded. Xemnas disappeared into another portal.

Vexen pointed to a nearby table, "It's your day with the iPod, right, Axel?"

Axel nodded and snatched the device off the table and began to play with it.

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It was now in the middle of the night at The Castle That Never Was. Axel and Roxas, who had no sleep the past night, were running on sugar and energy drinks. After searching through the iPod's entire memory, Axel had found a song he would like to sing.

"_Them other boys they don't know how to act_

_I think it's special... what's behind your back_

_So turn around and and I'll pick up the slack"_

Roxas was the poor, unfortunate soul who had to film Axel's provocative song and dance.

"_Dirty Babe_

_You see these shackles baby I'm your slave_

_I'll let you whip me if I misbehave_

_It's just that no one makes me feel this way_

_Come here girl, go head be gone with it_

_Come to the back, go head be gone with it_

_VIP, drinks on me_

_Lemme see what you're twerking with_

_Look at those hips_

_Make me smile_

_Go 'head child and get your sexy on"_

"Stop it right now!" Roxas yelled. "I've got enough footage for the project! Now go to your own room! The energy is gone and I WANNA GO TO SLEEP!!" Roxas was very cranky without his naps.

Axel walked sheepishly out of his friend's room. Roxas had already turned off the camera and his light, and was asleep by the time Axel could close the door.

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Xemnas shot straight up in bed, awoken from his dream, "My AkuRoku senses are tingling…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Xemnas: Me and Vexen?! O.O Eww!!

Hugh: Yeah, that Vexen guy looks ancient!

Khaos: Hey! He's a blonde science geek like me! Wait a minute… I would look like Vexen, if I had an Organization cloak, and a straightening iron, because my hair is too poofy right now. Even the green eyes are the same… Creepy…

Xemnas: Okay that just makes the pairing worse!

Khaos: I usually don't like yaoi, at all, but I didn't mean for it to turn out that way! I'm just writing off the top of my head here! Yaoi happens!!

Xemnas: And since when do I have AkuRoku senses?

Khaos: Since you laughed about my hand!!

Hugh: AkuRoku? Yaoi?

Khaos: You don't wanna know, Hun.

Hugh: Quit calling me Hun!! And why am I even here?

Khaos: Don't we all ask that question at some point? Now make room on that couch! I need sleep, too!

Hugh: I mean I'm in the completely wrong fandom! I—

Khaos: SHUT UP AND MOVE!!

Hugh:--Moves the cushions revealing that the couch has the space of a full sized bed—

Xemnas: Where am I supposed to sleep?

Khaos: --fluffs her pillow-- With your new boyfriend, of course!

Xemnas: Why I outghta —Lunges for Khaos--

Hugh: --Stops him—

Khaos: ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZ


	10. There's someone on the telephone

Disclaimer: You get it already….

Khaos: --whispers—Okay, I'm having to hide from Xemnas and Hugh because I need some peace and quiet. I would hide with Hugh but he talks a little loud… So—

--the closet doors bust open revealing Khaos' hiding spot—

Xemnas: There you are!! We're waiting for the next chapter!

Khaos: --Goes berserk, literally—Waiting!? WAITING?! I'm waiting for a little peace and quiet! Now if you two want the next chapter soooooo badly then you write it!! –Shoves laptop over to the two— I need something to drink!

Hugh: Aren't you a little young?

Khaos: Like water genius!!

Hugh: I don't really know anything about this fandom so, it's up to you Xem.

Xemnas: Great…

Hugh: I'm going to go see if she's PMS-ing.

Khaos: I AM NOT PMS-ING!!

Hugh: Hey, you know we never finish that discussion about your Fangirly obsessions. – talks with Khaos—

Xemnas: I think I've got it. –Starts typing—

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Roxas was adding the finishing touches to Axel's "lovely" performance. The last frame of his time slot included a very large sign saying 'REJECTED.'

Axel was scorned, "Harsh. Very harsh."

"It's your fault," Roxas said. "You know I hate that song…"

"It's just because I sing better than you," Axel smirked as he leaned back on the bed.

Roxas stood up grabbing the camera, "Its Demyx's day, right?"

Axel grabbed the lovely red rectangle of near death, hilarity, and all things random, "Yep, Let's go give this to him."

Roxas had an idea, "Hey, he loves to sing, so let's just get him in on our project."

"So he can blab to the Superior about the nature of our project?"

"No, we won't tell him the full extent of the project. We'll just tell him about the mission that was left to us, but instead of telling him that it was the authoress' idea, we'll tell him were on assignment from Xemnas."

Axel grinned like the red haired devil he was. Roxas joined him in the grin as they went to The Melodious Nocturne.

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After telling Demyx the truth but not the whole truth about their mission, he agreed. The two turned to leave, as Demyx hit 'Shuffle Songs' on the device. He fell in love with the first song he heard. It had a guitar strumming chords in the back ground as a girl began to sing.

"Hey," Demyx called to Numbers VIII and XIII, "I think I found a song I want to sing! And the best part is that you guys can sing, too!"

Roxas set up the camera in a steady spot, as Demyx explained the lyrics to the odd song.

"It's simpler than it sounds."

Roxas and Axel got into their positions as Demyx began to sing,

"_Ringa-Ringa-Ring-Ring-RingRing-Ring_

_Ringa-Ringa-Ring-Ring-RingRing-Ring_

_Hey, Axel!"_

Axel stepped in front of the camera and sang his lines,

"_I think I heard my name"_

Demyx called again,

"_Hey, Axel!"_

Axel sang back,

"_I think I heard it again"_

Demyx informed him,

"_There's someone on the telephone!"_

Axel returned,

_If it isn't Roxas, then I'm not home!"_

Both sang, _"Ringa-Ringa-Ring-Ring-RingRing-Ring" _Twice before Roxas was brought on in a similar manner. Roxas then informed Demyx that he had a phone call now. The whole thing repeated before the finale with all three singing at the top of their lungs,

"_Ringa- Ringa- Ring- Ring- RIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGG!!"_

Roxas ran up to the camera and stopped filming. Axel asked, "Who was that by?"

"I assume," Demyx said, "that it was the authoress and her friends because they were singing the names Khaos, Norx, and Poppet."

Roxas was humming the tune, "Oh man, its stuck in my head."

Axel agreed, "Its in my head, too. I wonder what kind of trouble it will cause."

Demyx spoke gleefully, "That's why I like it! Its way too easy to remember."

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At the morning meeting they just barely made it to, the three were completely bored. Xemnas droned on and on and on and on….

Demyx began to grin at this event earlier this morning. Demyx began to hum the song against his will.

Xemnas stopped his speech to see who was doing that annoying humming. It was Demyx, _Okay, no big deal_. He began to drone on again. Joy.

But in that brief silence, Roxas heard the addictive song being hummed. Like a virus that is spread by sound, Roxas hummed the song with Demyx.

Axel was trying his best to listen to what the Superior was saying, but the song was boring a hole in the back of his head. He contracted the virus and began to hum, too.

At first, Xemnas thought that secondary humming was just an echo. But when the last hummer joined the group, he stopped and listened. It was not only Demyx, but Axel and Roxas, also.

He waited for them to stop and see the trouble they had got into, but it went from bad to worse. They began to sing the infernal song! It was so addicting, the other members quickly caught on and sang with them.

He looked to his right hand man, Saïx, still in his straight jacket, who was singing the song also. Saïx saw the Superior's glare and knew he should stop, but he didn't 'cause it was just so much fun!

"_Hey Xemnas!"_

Xemnas finally contracted the virus that had effected his organization,

"_I think I heard my name"_

"_Hey Xemnas!"_

"_I think I heard it again"_

"_There's someone on the telephone!"_

"_If it isn't Roxas then I'm not home!"_

"_Ringa-Ringa-Ring-RingRing-Ring_

_Ringa-Ringa-Ring-RingRing-Ring"_

Xemnas made an important realization. He had just started the song over again! He sighed and put his head in his hands, knowing that his Organization had lost their attention span for the next, ah… let's just make a guess…umm… ETERNITY!! Nevertheless, he sang with them, because this was the first meeting he had actually had fun at.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hugh: Charlie Eppes?

Khaos: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!111!!ONE!! If there was anything higher than A I would be in that category!

Hugh: His actor: David Krumholtz?

Khaos: Lowering down the enthusiasm to Class A. He isn't as smart as his character is but he's still hot! –Smiles like the rabid fangirl she is—

Xemnas: --popping his knuckles—I'm done!

Hugh: You feeling better now, Khaos?

Khaos: Yeah, Hun. –Looks over Xemnas' work- Good, good. It'll pass. Poppet will love that her song that she made up is in here.

Xemnas: --Smiles—

Khaos: I'm sorry that I went, well, nuts earlier, so I think you guys deserve a treat for putting up with my hormonal self. –Pulls out two lollipops—

Xemnas: --Takes the red one— My favorite color. Yay!

Hugh: --Tastes his yellow lollipop—Yummy, lemon.

Xemnas: --Chokes on his lollipop—X.X

Khaos: Lemon!? –Slaps Hugh very hard—Do not say lemon in this fic!!

Hugh: ?? What about lime?

Khaos: --Slaps Hugh again—No limes either!!

Xemnas: --Very horse because his lollipop scratched his throat— Don't mention citrus fruit at all, and you'll be safe.

Hugh: Why?

Khaos: You don't wanna know, Hun…

Hugh: Quit calling me 'Hun'!!


	11. Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

Disclaimer: I think you understand by now that I don't own anything and I'm not doing this for profit…

Khaos:--holding her cell phone up to her ear grinning like a crazy fool—

Hugh Laurie: What's she doing?

Khaos: HUSH!!

Xemnas: -whispers- She's listening to a Dave Matthews Band concert that her sister's at.

Khaos: I love you, sis!!

Hugh: --gives a wonderful "WTF??" look to both—

Xemnas: Oh yeah, you were passed out on the couch as she hopped excitedly around the room screaming about it.

Khaos: SQUEEEEEEEE!!1111111!!

Hugh: Looks like we're going to have to write another chapter.

Khaos: --Looks at her phone saddened— We lost the connection!! NOOOOOOO!!

Xemnas: May be while we wait for her to call back, you can write the next chapter, eh?

Khaos: Okay… I'm getting a shirt and a sticker from the concert though. No matter how much of a bad influence she is, I still love her! (But thinking about it now, she and I kinda seem like Axel and Roxas. Me Blonde, She Red) I'm so going to a DMB concert with her as soon as I get legal! But for now, I have an idea for some major plot twists!

Hugh: Houston, we have our author back!

Khaos: You know it, Hun!

Xemnas: How come I don't get a pet name?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After singing the viral song from last chapter for twenty-five hours straight, Axel's lungs gave out. Luckily, Roxas put in earplugs during hour four so he was pretty much unaffected.

"You stopped singing, yet?" Roxas said pulling out one of his ear plugs. Silence… "Okay then," Roxas said taking out his other earplug. He began to work on the "commercial" segment Demyx graciously helped with. Axel fell back on XIII's bed, winded. It looks like Roxas had to document Number X alone.

He took the camera and made his way carefully to Luxord's chambers.

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The Gambler of Fate actually had put down his cards for once. But as he sang, Roxas wished he didn't and just played with his cards. First time ever he wanted that to happen.

"_Star Trekkin' across the universe,_

_On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk._

_Star Trekkin' across the universe,_

_Boldly going forward, and things are getting worse!"_

Luxord's voice was changing from low to high through the chorus.

"_Engine room, Mr. Scott:"_

Luxord said, in a computer like voice. He put on his best Scottish accent,

"_Ye cannae change the laws of physics, laws of physics, laws of physics;_

_ye cannae change the laws of physics, laws of physics, Jim."_

Luxord began to dance to the odd song, copying the voices perfectly,

"_Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;_

_we come in peace, shoot to kill; Scotty, beam me up!"_

Axel came up behind Roxas, hushing him so he wouldn't make a scene. The nodded as Luxord began to sing with a horrible lisp.

"_It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;_

_it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead."_

Luxord, keeping his voice in check with the song, sang deeply in an informative voice,

"_Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it; it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain." _

His deep informative voice gave way to a annoying, obnoxious female voice, that got higher and faster as the song droned on.

"_There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;_

_there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow Jim!"_

Axel spoke as loud as his horse voice would allow, "So you're a Trekkie?"

_Trekkie? As in Star Trek? _Roxas kept his laughter in check, as a furious Luxord turn to them.

"I am not a Trekkie! The song just has a lot of voice changes. That makes it perfect practice for my voice acting career!" Luxord fumed.

"And, so," Roxas said pointing to the distinguished gold arrow head on his cloak, "that's just for show?"

Luxord ripped the pin off of his cloak, trying to think of something witty to say. His mind was blank. He just held his head in shame.

"So you are a Trekkie?" Axel said hoarsely. Roxas and Axel looked to each other, and back to Luxord. They laughed there freaking heads off, well, Axel tried.

Luxord lunged for Roxas and the camera. Roxas yanked the camera out of Luxord's reach, "Why don't we settle this in a civilized manner?"

Luxord gave him an interested look, "How do you propose we do that?"

"Why don't you and I," Roxas smirked, "play one of those precious card games of yours? Winner keeps the camera fare and square, and whatever munny he wins along the way."

Luxord smirked. This was going to be too easy. "Okay, but you can choose the game." He grabbed his cards and began to shuffle them.

Roxas thought carefully. Poker had too many rules to remember. It had to be a card or dice game so roulette was out. Roxas didn't really care too much for craps… so…

"Why not blackjack?" Roxas said, ever so innocently. "I hear the rules are pretty simple. Hit 21 and you win, go over you bust, and you can split your cards, right?"

Luxord nodded, his smile growing wider, _This is going to be too easy._

Axel's eyes grew wide. The poor kid didn't even know basic strategy. Heck, Axel didn't even know basic strategy. Axel tapped his friend's shoulder, trying to talk him out of it.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Axel," Roxas said, "I think I've got the rules down." He winked at his friend. He winked. Winked!? _He must know something that I don't,_ Axel thought confused.

"Okay, you'll deal, right?" Roxas asked like the "n00b" he was.

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Two hours later, Luxord had lost all of his munny, and his chance at winning the camera, to Roxas.

"So since you're out of munny, does that mean I win?" Roxas asked innocently. Luxord's mouth was hung open as he looked around his room to see what he could spare. Nope, no, not that, umm… nah… He shut his gaping pie hole and merely nodded in defeat.

Roxas picked up all the munny he won and picked up the camera and stuffed both into his pockets, "I guess it was just beginner's luck, eh?" Luxord stacked his cards back up and turned away hating himself for losing. Well, he would if he could hate…

Roxas and Axel walked out of the room smug, rich men.

"Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty. Fifty-thousand munny!" Roxas smiled as he put his winnings in his pocket. Axel was still dumbfounded at his friends luck.

"How did you win?" Axel asked in disbelief.

Roxas looked around to see if anyone was coming within earshot. He leaned in and whispered to his friend, "I know how to count cards." A huge grin covered XIII's face.

Axel's mouth turned up in a smile, "You are a devious little mastermind! Wait, I thought only retards and smart college kids could count cards. Well, you're not in college, so…"

Roxas rolled his eyes, "1) Rain Man was not a retard. He's a savant. And 2) Counting cards is pretty easy once you get the hang of it."

Axel, seeing the huge advantage he could get by this skill, "Can you teach me?"

"Sure buddy. I've got a few decks in my room for practicing my talent," Roxas smirked.

"Wait," Axel said noticing a huge plot hole, "Why did you need Luxord's cards the other day?"

"I forgot where I put them that day," Roxas shrugged. "But first, you wanna get some Sea Salt Ice Cream? I'm buying!"

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Khaos: Okay, Love, how was that?

Hugh: I liked it.

Khaos: No, you're 'Hun.' Xemmy over there is 'Love.'

Xemnas: 'Love'??

Khaos: You complained about not having a pet name earlier so there you go, Love.

Xemnas: Just don't call me 'Xemmy' and I'll be fine.

Khaos: m'Kay, Love.

Xemnas: --Angered sigh—

Hugh: You'll get used to it after a while. This chapter has got me in the mood for ice cream.

Khaos: --Goes to the freezer—What flavor are you fond of, Hun?

Hugh: Hmmm… Lem—

xFLASHBACKx

Khaos:--Slaps Hugh hard—Do not say 'Lemon' in this fic!!

x/FLASHBACKx

Khaos—What, Hun?

Hugh: Chocolate! Yep! No fruit for me. ESPECIALLY of the citrus variety! Chocolate. I love chocolate! Don't you?

Khaos: You had a flashback from yesterday's Lemon/Lime thing, eh, Hun?

Hugh: --Shifty eyes—Nooooooooo……

Khaos:--Holds her hand up to backhand him but she's caught by his own special brand of Care Bear Stare—Darn it I can't do it now.

Hugh: --Sigh of relief—

Xemnas: But I can! –Whacks Hugh upside the head—

Hugh: Ouch!!

Khaos: OI!! Quit fighting or no ice cream!--Phone Rings-- SHE'S BACK!! SQUEEEEE!! --throws ice cream at the two--

Xemnas: Sea Salt Ice Cream! My favorite.

Hugh: --Stares at his yellow Ice Cream-- Oh no...


	12. Feed Me, Marly! FEED ME!

Disclaimer: I do this because I can't think of original characters or a very original plot. Don't sue me…

Khaos: --walks in the room—

Hugh: Oi! Where were you last night, Babe?

Xemnas: --Wakes up—What? She's back?

Khaos: Sleeping, for once…

Xemnas: Someone, quick! Alert the media!

Khaos: T.T grrrr…. You do know what I can do to you, right Love?

Xemnas: O.O Shutting up now.

Hugh: Huh? What are you two talking about?

Khaos: It's a great time for you to get an attitude, especially since its Marly's turn. Ain't that right, Love?

Hugh: --gives another one of his lovely "WTF?" looks—

Xemnas: I'm sorry! –Hits the ground bowing to Khaos—Please have mercy on my soul!! That's all I've got left!!

Khaos: --smirks—Okay then, Love. Since you said sorry, I'll let you off with a warning. But next time, don't expect any sympathy! M'kay, Love?

Xemnas: --nods gravely—

Hugh: Someone please tell me how this Authoress just went from random to threatening to Mr. "Superior" over here?

Khaos: You're patience will be rewarded, Hun… --Evil Grin-- Well maybe not…

Hugh: I wanna know!

Khaos: Let me get my delayed chapter done and I'll show you, Hun.

Hugh: 'kay.

Khaos: --looks to the scared Xemnas and to her keyboard—Heh, heh. Who's "Superior" now? –wink--

* * *

Roxas was quickly throwing cards on to the table in front of Axel. XIII was giving VIII the final test of card counting competence.

Roxas stopped, "What's the count?"

"Plus 9?" Axel had lost count many cards ago.

"No." Roxas stated bluntly.

"Ummm… Plus six?" Axel was guessing.

"Okay you're not even trying anymore," Roxas stacked his secret cards up and put them away. "The final count was plus eleven."

"Which reminds me," Axel leaned back in his chair, "its Marluxia's day with the device."

"True," Roxas said plucking the camera off the charger. "Let's go."

* * *

The two made their way to Number XI's room, just to find that he wasn't there. They checked in the garden only for the same result.

"We can't find him!" Axel panicked. "He has the iPod and he just disappeared off the face of the universe!" Axel began to run circles around Roxas blabbering uncontrollably.

"Axel," Roxas said in a sing-song voice. No response. "Axel…"

"AXEL!!" Roxas screamed.

Axel stopped his running, "Huh?"

"We'll just go see Xemnas," Roxas said. "He'll probably know where Marluxia is."

"Oh," Axel nodded and followed his friend to The Superior's room.

* * *

"Hmmm…" Xemnas pondered, interrupted from his work, "The last I heard from him he was in Hollow Bastion checking on the status there. Why do you need to see him?"

"We need to discuss something very important with him," Axel replied.

"If it's truly important, shouldn't you two discuss it with me?" Xemnas crossed his arms.

Axel's wit was back and running on three cylinders (Why not four? That's his subconscious, silly!), "It's about one of his plants. It keeps on saying 'Feed Me.'"

Xemnas raised an eyebrow. Wait. This was Marluxia they were talking about. He has some weird plants. "All right, then. Go find him."

Axel and Roxas opened a portal to Hollow Bastion and quickly disappeared into it.

Xemnas got up from his desk; _I better go see which plant they are talking about…_

* * *

In the lovely, under-renovation world, the two went searching for their next victim. They had to search quickly so the Town's defense system wouldn't annoy them. Finally arriving at the bailey, they came upon The Graceful Assassin singing and dancing. The camera was rolling, and the pink-haired nobody's voice rang,

"_No, I don't even know your name_

_It doesn't matter_

_You're my experimental game_

_Just human nature_

_It's not what, good girls do_

_Not how they should behave_

_My head gets so confused_

_Hard to obey"_

Girls? Oh, no….

"_I kissed a girl and I liked it_

_The taste of her cherry chap stick_

_I kissed a girl just to try it_

_I hope my boyfriend don't mind it_

_It felt so wrong_

_It felt so right_

_Don't mean I'm in love tonight_

_I kissed a girl and I liked it_

_I liked it"_

"Now that's an amazing feat!" Axel laughed, "Marly, here, actually kissed a girl!"

"But what I'm wondering," Roxas said in all seriousness, "who's the boyfriend he's referring to?"

The two laughed so hard, they actually cried. Marluxia, however, screamed and summoned his scythe.

The laughter turned to complete shock as the iPod fell out of Marluxia's pocket and down towards the deep waters below.

Roxas jumped into action. He dove over the side reaching for the little red rectangle. He kept falling and thinking that he wouldn't be able to catch it. The water was closing in fast. Roxas screamed as his arms reached past their normal extension. He clasped the device in his hand. _Wait a second. I'm still falling. Greaaat…_

Axel and Marluxia were peering over the edge. They thought they saw him hit the water. "Do you see him?"

"Did he catch it?"

"We're so dead…"

Axel and Marluxia looked at each other, thinking of what the authoress' wrath may hold.

They heard screaming coming from their right as a portal opened. Roxas came speeding through sideways. Well at least to them. Roxas still thought he was falling down. That is until gravity caught up with him and sent him face first into the ground.

Roxas had made a portal moments before he and the iPod hit the water, which brought him back up to the others. Crafty little bugger, eh?

He held up his prize, which received joyous exclamations.

"Way to go, man!"

"That's talent!"

"We are saved!"

Marluxia snatched the device away and put it back in his pocket, making sure to zip the pocket up this time.

Axel opened a portal leading back to the headquarters, "Okay. The field trips over. Everyone, back on the bus!"

Roxas walked to it, "I'm just glad that I get to use the 'Rejected' stamp again."

Marluxia cocked his head over to the side. He suddenly remembered why his scythe was drawn. They could mock his hair, his element, the song he chose, but there was no way they could mock his singing without being punished. He followed them through the portal.

* * *

Roxas and Axel were frozen on the other side of the portal. The entire castle was covered in vines and blooms. The vines were pulling at the other organization members, each with a look of shock and fear of their own brand. At the center of the commotion, was a giant Venus Flytrap, trying to eat Xemnas, "I said feed me, foo'!"

Marluxia smiled starry eyed, "My dream came true!"

Axel ordered Roxas, "Quick! We need gasoline, vodka, and a weed wacker!"

* * *

Khaos: Okay, Hun! Time for you to learn my power the hard way!

Hugh: Huh? Hard way?

Khaos: You see, since I am the authoress, I can make these poor blokes do whatever I want.

Hugh: If you couldn't, how would you know the plot?

Khaos: I'm not the only one who holds this power. My fellow authors and authoress' do too. Not to mention the other brands of creator…

Hugh: Other brands? What do you mean?

Khaos: --Types a few things into her web browser— Welcome to the wonderful world of fan art, Hun!

Hugh: Okay, what I see isn't so threatening…

Khaos: Okay, love, you might want to look away.

Xemnas: I think I know what you're going to do. –Covers eyes—

Khaos: --types two certain characters and a certain "y" word. Searches for something that's blocked to the public. Yeah, this isn't gonna be good.—

Hugh: --Looks at the picture confused—What is X over there doing with that blue haired guy…--Cocks his head to the side like one should with all good art— O.O OH MY GOD!! My eyes have been raped!! Need brain scrubber!! –Rocks back and forth—

Khaos: I know… It isn't pretty. So imagine a literary version of this and you get a taste of what I can do to these guys.

Hugh: How did my nose start bleeding!?

Khaos: It's because your playing in my world by my rules.—Hands him paper towels—

Xemnas: Is it safe to look now?


	13. Mistaken Identity

Disclaimer: Please tell me you get it by now or you'll be hunted down by Xigbar with my marshmallow gun. Yes I have one…

Khaos: OMG! HOTNESS!! –drools—

Hugh: Quit looking at his goddamn fan art! I'm going to die from blood loss with all these nosebleeds!!

Xemnas: Geez, she's a sheltered child… I mean most of these are barely T on the rating scale. Well, mine at least…

Khaos: I like my hotness in good taste, thank you… Watch the theatrical version of _1984_ and you'll see why. –shudders—

Hugh: I liked that movie…

Khaos: You don't have a photographic memory, eh? --Thinks about the movie— Oh, wonderful! I've got a nosebleed now. Not to mention nightmares…

Xemnas: Why? What's so bad?

Khaos: --plugs nose with paper towels— 'ew do-t wanuh see teh muvie, Luv.

Xemnas: Wh—

Khaos: Tusst 'e, Luv! –unplugs her nose-- Ahh, much better.

* * *

"I just think that we should just leave her out of it," Roxas said following his friend to The Savage Nymph's room.

Axel smiled at his friend, "Three words: Best. Blackmail. Ever!"

Roxas held up his hands, "I'm not going to be in on this. I know that she can whoop my Keyblade carrying ass with little effort."

"Okay," Axel shrugged, "you don't know what you're gonna miss!"

"Besides pain and torture?" Roxas asked. "I think I'll pass! I'll be waiting in my room for the footage. If you survive, that is…" Roxas walked away.

Axel, like the stubborn red head he is, continued his way to Larxene's room.

* * *

Axel picked another lock, and filmed Larxene playing air guitar,

"_She smashed the radio with the board of education_

_Turn up the static left of the state of the nation"_

She hopped upon her bed and propped her leg up onto the headboard, her flaxen hair flowing,

"_Turn up the flame, step on the gas_

_Burning the flag at half mast_

_She's a rebel's forgotten son_

_An export of the revolution"_

Larxene began to jump up on down on her bed. _Oh, this is too good _Axel smiled slyly through the crack in the door.

"_She is the first voice of the last ones in the line_

_She'll drag the lake to keep the vendetta alive_

_Bring in the head of the government_

_The dog ate the document_

_Somebody shot the President_

_And no one knows where Maria went"_

Larxene held the iPod like a microphone,

"_Maria! Maria! _

_Maria, where did you go?_

_Be careful what you're offering_

_Your breath lacks the conviction_

_Drawing the line in the dirt_

_Because the last decision_

_...is no."_

The air guitar began again. Larxene was really rocking out, _"…is noo-o-o"_

"_She smashed the radio with the board of education_

_Turn up the static left of the state of the nation_

_Turn up the flame, step on the gas_

_Burning the flag at half mast_

_She's a rebel's forgotten son_

_An export of the revolu-u-ution"_

"_Maria! Maria! _

_Maria, where did you go?_

_Maria! Mari-la-la!_

_Maria, where did you go?"_

Larxene fell face first onto the bed, winded. Her face was buried deep into the sheets. Axel turned the camera off and tip-toed to her bed. He bent his head down to the back of hers and blew a quick blast of air on to her hair.

"Hey! Who spit on my hair!" Larxene looked up feeling the back of her head. It wasn't wet. "Axel," she growled.

"Hey, Sugar. How much for a private dance?" Axel asked with a sly smile.

The kunai were out and Axel was running for his nonexistent life.

* * *

Larxene was keeping up with Axel very well for the majority of the chase. But Larxene was built for quick bursts of speed and was beginning to lag behind.

Axel turned down a hall and saw a fellow Organization member with his hood up reviewing some paperwork. Axel flipped his hood over his head and grabbed the paperwork from the hooded member, "Hey-can-I-borrow-this?-Thanks!" Axel began to look at the papers, walking the way he had just come. _Towards Larxene and her anger._

The other member was about to retaliate when the kunai went flying with electrical wires between each pair. The other member was pinned against the wall tied with the wires.

She pulled his hood down even more and stuffed it into his mouth, creating a makeshift gag. "So you thought you were so smart," Larxene huffed, while making sure the victim was tied up tight, "flipping your hood up like that other guy, thinking you could give me the slip, eh? Well, you were wrong, buddy. _So VERY wrong._"

She pulled "Axel" off the wall and threw him into a portal. She followed "Axel."

_Will the real Axel please stand up?_ Axel thought as he took off his hood. That poor guy was going to get it.

Walking back to XIII's room he took a look at what he had stole from the victim. He recognized the handwriting, "Oh, shit…"

* * *

Thinking of a way to get rid of the evidence, Saïx entered the hallway. Axel's wires connected and the lights turned on, "Hey, MoonMan! Could you give this to Xemnas next time you see him. He dropped it."

Saïx agreed and went on his way.

Axel smiled all the way to Roxas' room. He was unscathed and had no blood on his hands.

* * *

"So you want an effing private dance, eh?" Larxene hissed as she tied "Axel" to her computer chair. "This is going to be your constant reminder of your stupidity."

"Axel" made muffled noises under the hood.

"Oh just _SHUT UP!_" Larxene bellowed. Holding her kunai at the ready, she grabbed hold of her victim's hood, "I want to see your pain…"

She flipped up the hood, expecting to see Axel's seafoam-green eyes. Instead she saw angry amber-orange eyes, The Superior's eyes.

"NUMBER XII!! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" Xemnas bellowed. "RELEASE ME AT ONCE!"

"Oh fu-" Larxene muttered.

"THERE IS NO USE FOR THAT SORT OF PROFANITY! NOW GET ME UNTIED!!"

Saïx was at XII's doorway, hearing all of this when the bound Superior was rolled out the door. Larxene slammed it shut.

Xemnas summoned his Aerial Blades and cut through the bondage. His nostrils flared with anger.

Saïx silently handed his Superior the notebook he was supposed to. He thought words would make it worse at this point. Heh.

"So," Xemnas snatched the notebook away and threw it to the ground, "it was _you _she was after!" Xemnas roared loudly.

Saïx had time to only mutter a classic Daffy Duck style, "Mother!" He ran from The (extremely pissed) Superior.

* * *

Xemnas: Why me?

Khaos: You were in the wrong place at the wrong time!

Hugh: I feel sorry for the blue-haired guy. Ever heard of "Don't shoot the messenger?"

Xemnas: Whatever…

Khaos: --Happy with her work—Imma gonna get A.D.D. with more fan art now.

Xemnas: … Add?

Hugh: No more half- naked Xemnas pics, please! I'm still light headed.

Khaos: Shut up! You cannot control me!! RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAY!!

--looks up more said style of fan art—

Hugh: --Falls on the floor passed out from lack of oxygen to the brain—

Xemnas: Medic!!


	14. Pudding in Great Pain!

Hugh: --alternating shoving cookies in his mouth and an oxygen tank—I'm feeling better now.

Khaos: That's wonderful, Hun. –gives him a kiss on the forehead—

Hugh: My personal space! Rape! Rape!

Xemnas: Oh not again…

Khaos: !! What do you mean "not again"?

Xemnas: --Shudders—Brain Scrubber!! NEED BRAIN SCRUBBER!

Khaos: Just for the record I didn't do anything… yet…

Hugh: I was just joking with you…

Xemnas: --Nosebleeds—

Khaos: I'll get the mop…

* * *

Axel held the camera high, "The cameraman cometh!" He placed the camera on Roxas's desk.

"Thank Kingdom Hearts, you're still alive!" Roxas exclaimed. He took the camera and began to add the new video to his hard drive. "So did she see you?"

Axel rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah…"

Roxas clasped his hands together, "So how did you get away?"

"Let's just say," Axel made a stressed face, "that a couple of Nobodies got caught in the crossfire…"

"Which means?" Roxas inquired. A huge grin spread across XIII's face.

Axel hung his head, "We'll want to stay away from Xemnas, Saïx and Larxene for a while."

Roxas opened up the files, "What the hell happened?"

"You don't wanna know…"

* * *

Roxas finished his work with the camera and placed it on the charger. He felt glad with his project he had labored over on the past few days. He leaned back in his chair when a sharp rapping came from the door.

It was Marluxia, "Oi! The Superior's calling an emergency meeting. He wants everyone there."

Axel looked at Roxas gravely. He was gonna get it…

* * *

"Okay everyone," Xemnas began, "I've got new rules for the Organization."

Axel, who was hooded, looked to his friend. _Oh no…_

"New rule number 1: If you are inside the castle, your hood is off. Effective now!"

Axel, along with a few others, dropped their hoods. Saïx had new bandages on his face but he had a scowl on his face. Larxene looked terrified.

"New rule number 2: Don't randomly take papers from another member." Xemnas scowled at the wrongly accused Saïx.

Axel rubbed his nose to hide the smile on his face.

"New rule number 3: Any violation of these rules or the previous ones will result in a certain authoress having her way with you."

The Nobodies looked from one another to their Superior. _Had he gone insane?!_

"Wait," Axel spoke up, "What if you break the rules?" _Insanity was apparently contagious…_

"Good point," Xemnas intellectually rewarded Axel, "I guess we'll just have to go on the honor system. If any of you disobey me, I'll inform the authoress. If I somehow disobey my own rules, making myself a hypocrite, you can inform her."

A collective "Whaa?!" was heard amongst the Organization. Most saw the Superior admitting someone is higher than him. Two saw the immense possibility to make Xemnas' life a living hell. Yes, those two.

"Good enough for me!" Axel leaned back in his chair.

"And while we are here," Xemnas said, changing his disposition, "we might as well give Roxas the iPod. Hand it over Larxene."

Larxene smirked at Roxas as she pulled the device out of her pocket. "Catch!"

She threw the little red rectangle at him, but with out much force. It was going to shatter on the floor. A collective gasp was heard amongst the onlookers. _Here we go again…_

Roxas jumped from his chair and went flying down at an odd angle. He was able to grab the device but he couldn't twist around in time or make a portal. He hit the ground with a loud thud… Everyone but Larxene cringed. She laughed like the sadistic bitch she was.

"I'm okay!" Roxas lied. He felt like pudding. Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain.

The rest of the Organization left in their various ways. Larxene went down to Roxas's level. "That's for yesterday!"

"What do you mean?" Roxas groaned.

"I knew you were there with him!"

"No I wasn't!"

"He really wasn't" Axel backed up his friend's story.

Larxene laughed, "Oh well, I just injured an innocent bystander. Like I would care." She left through a portal.

"Axel," Roxas looked to his friend, "I think I'm paralyzed…"

"No you're not!" Axel said as he lifted his friend up. _Paralyzed?_

"_I'm not paralyzed, but I seem to be struck by you…" _

"What?" Roxas said limping.

"Never mind," Axel said.

* * *

They got back to Roxas' room and searched through the device. Roxas began to dance and sing wildly,

"_If I were you I'd be taking it easy_

_Kick back and relax for a little while_

_We'll all still be here tomorrow_

_Take time just to act like a little child_

_No matter what the world has in store for us_

_You got the ring that better get off of us_

_Reach out for a comfortable chair_

_Rejoice and throw your arms in the air!_

_'Cause it's a good life so why y'all trippin'_

_The good life slippin' away"_

Axel was holding his sides, "Dude! Stop singing! I'm going to die from laughter!"

Roxas pouted and took the camera away. He added the footage to the computer and began to edit it.

"Hey man!" Axel said pushing him away from the computer, "I think I need to do your segment. So it isn't biased, you know?"

Roxas nodded and stepped away. He picked up his large wad of cash, "I'm going to go get some Sea Salt Ice Cream."

* * *

Hugh: You what?

Khaos: Yeah, you what?

Xemnas: I thought you'd like it.

Khaos: Yeah I like it but do you really trust your members?

Xemnas: Hmmm….

Khaos: But my evil plan is taking effect! MWHAHAHAHAH!!

Hugh: Evil plan?

Khaos: You'll see…

Computer: You've got mail!

Khaos: YAY! –reads the email— You said what, XEMNAS!?

Xemnas: What?

Khaos: You little –Slaps him upside the head—

Xemnas: It was my evil twin I swear!


	15. The End

Disclaimer: I'm here because I want to. Not because I actually own these guys or I'm getting paid…

Khaos: Hello and welcome to the final chapter in the iPod Karaoke series… --sniffle— I can't cry. I don't want my make up to run!

Xemnas: Okay it's the final chapter and all, but why are we wearing tuxedos?

Hugh: And why are you wearing a dress?

Khaos: It's an important event for me! Love! You tied your bow tie wrong!

Xemnas: There isn't a mirror in here, and I haven't worn one of these since… EVER!

Khaos: There's no use for screaming! –Ties his bow tie— There we go— (mumble-I love men in tux's!)

Hugh: Huh?

Khaos: Everyone ready? Okay then! Let's get this party started!

* * *

Roxas and Axel were waiting in the younger's room for the project to be burned onto a DVD. They were going to give this to the Authoress tonight. And hopefully the rest of the Organization wasn't going to kill them… Psssht! Yeah, right! They were dead Nobodies.

"So, is there any clue when she is supposed to be here?" Axel said while tapping his leg nervously.

Roxas shrugged, admitting he didn't know either.

Roxas computer spat out the once blank DVD saying it was done! Roxas put the DVD back in its case and pocketed it along side the Superior's project and the reason for all of this madness.

The computer made a wind chime-y noise and declared Roxas Got A Message! From Khaos!

Roxas opened the email, "Okay, we need to get everyone in Where Nothing Gathers with in fifteen minutes!" Roxas closed his message and stood up ready.

Axel grabbed the camera, "I'll take the original six."

Roxas and his friend walked out of the room, "And I've got everybody else."

* * *

Axel took the civilized route by finding each of the six and telling them what they needed to know.

Roxas however…

"THE AUTHORESS IS COMING! GO TO WHERE NOTHING GATHERS! THE AUTHORESS IS COMING! THE AUTHORESS IS COMING!!"

He did this on all of the floors whether someone was on them or not…

* * *

The Order was waiting in the designated area. Each had their own way of waiting silently.

Xemnas had the gentlemanly way of _actually waiting_.

Xigbar was just being his laid back self.

Xaldin was trying to kill a fly sans weapons.

Vexen was going through his notes on a recent experiment.

Lexaeus was staring at some blank spot on the wall.

Zexion was, of course, reading.

Saïx was trying to struggle out of his straight jacket. He had been restrained for the authoress' sake.

Axel was tapping his foot and smiling.

Demyx was tuning his sitar.

Luxord was practicing his blackjack strategies so he could win back all of his munny.

Marluxia was trying to fix a lone strand of hair.

Larxene was making electricity jump from one finger to the other.

Roxas was staring at his shoes.

Everyone jumped a little when the air vent flew open and, not one, but two ropes were flung to the floor. Khaos and another man went repelling down the ropes. The man kept going while Khaos stopped. "I came prepared this time! Okay, now everyone get off your high and mighty thrones and down to my level."

Xemnas rubbed his temples; he hadn't got a lot of sleep in the past few nights, "Why?"

"Because," The Almighty Authoress stated, "if you don't, I'm going to have to scream a lot, which would cause migraines and possibly brain damage."

Xemnas motioned for the rest of his Organization to drop down. They did except for Saïx. He was having trouble because of the straight jacket. Lexaeus grabbed the rabid Nobody and "helped" him down.

She reached the ground as Xemnas was studying the man. He had dark curly hair and bright blue eyes. She coughed to get their attention. Xemnas pointed to The Enigmatic Man, "Who's this guy?"

Khaos grabbed the other man's shoulders and said, "This is.. umm.. My… Associate… yeah, that's right."

Axel shrugged, "Enough said."

"My thought's exactly," Khaos agreed. "Now Roxas should have had the iPod last so…" She held out her hand.

Roxas dug in his pockets for the little red rectangle of death, doom, and dismemberment. He sighed as he handed it over.

"Alrighty then!" Khaos examined the iPod for any thing physically broken. "So, have any of you experienced anything weird or different during or after your day with my beloved iPod?"

Everyone shrugged. "I've noticed," Xemnas said, "that when it was any given member's day with the device, they worked more productively."

The eleven out of the twelve members nodded in agreement. Saïx, however, began to blabber uncontrollably on how much he agreed.

"SILENCE!" The Almighty Authoress roared. Saïx shut up instantly. "Wow, I thought it wouldn't work," Khaos laughed.

She grinned evilly as she turned on the iPod, "Let's see if everything's fine with my music." Her associate plugged his ears as she chose a "random" song from her library.

"_Uh, When the world ends_

_Collect your things_

_You're coming with me_

_When the world ends_

_You tuckle up yourself with me_

_Watch it as the stars disappear to nothing_

_The day the world is over, oooowh_

_We'll be lying in bed"_

Saïx knew that this was a Dave Matthews Band song. Dave Matthews Band….

"_He wakes up in the morning_

_Does his teeth bite to eat and he's rolling_

_Never changes a thing_

_The week ends the week begins_

_She thinks, we look at each other_

_Wondering what the other is thinking_

_But we never say a thing_

_These crimes between us grow deeper"_

They both kept singing.

_The end of the world? _Axel thought, _End of the world..._

"_It's the end of the world as we know it._

_It's the end of the world as we know it._

_It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine._

_The other night I dreamt of knives, continental drift divide. Mount St. Edelite._

_Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs._

_Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic,_

_slam, but neck, right?Right."_

All three were singing. Zexion remembered watching a documentary of continental drift on the Discovery Channel…

"_You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals_

_So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel"_

The associate's nose started to bleed. Larxene began to laugh at the explicit song. All about sex….

"_Hey! _

_You're a crazy bitch _

_But you f-ck so good I'm on top of it _

_When I dream _

_I'm doing you all night _

_Scratches all down my back to keep me right on"_

Lexaeus noticed the blood flowing profusely from the associate's nose. He remembered how Dave Matthews is such an awesome guitarist. He was like that Christopher Parkening guy who played the classical guitar… Lexaeus tapped his foot to the beat of the classical song stuck in his head.

Xaldin was tapping his foot impatiently. He wished they'd all shut up! Shut up?

"_So shut up, shut up, shut up_

_Don't wanna hear it_

_Get out, get out, get out_

_Get out of my way"_

Vexen palmed his forehead. It was bad enough without that annoying song. Annoying…

"_Ringa-Ringa-Ring-Ring-RingRing-Ring"_

Demyx smiled at Vexen's choice of song and joined him.

"_Hey Vexen!"_

Xigbar smiled at all the sexually explicit songs. Sex?

"_Music is my boyfriend _

_Music is my girlfriend _

_Music is my dead end _

_Music's my imaginary friend _

_Music is my brother _

_Music is my great-grand-daughter _

_Music is my sister _

_Music is my favorite mistress"_

Marluxia's cheeks were as pink as his (her?) hair. Girlfriend?

"_Hey! Hey! You! You! _

_I don't like your girlfriend! _

_No way! No way! _

_I think you need a new one_

_Hey! Hey! You! You! _

_I could be your girlfriend"_

Roxas' eye was twitching. His ears had been raped! He curled up into a ball and rocked back and forth. Poor, little, innocent Roxie.

The Superior was staring at his "Organization" mouth agape. He looked to the cause of all this madness, the authoress. She was grinning like the idiot she was at what she had done.

"What did you do!?" Xemnas growled through the cacophony of voices.

He couldn't really hear her but it sounded like, "I gave you all a STD."

"STD!?" Xemnas screamed. The cacophony of voices stopped shocked.

"No," Khaos explained, "SSS. Song Shuffle Syndrome!"

He breathed a sigh of relief, and asked, "What's Song Shuffle Syndrome?"

Khaos smiled, "It's where you hear something in conversation and you relate it to a song and then that song gets stuck in your head."

"So we all have it?" Zexion asked.

"Yup!" Khaos said cheerily. "But if your Superior can do something, I'll see if I can cure you all."

"What?" Xemnas did not want to have SSS as a reoccurring instance in this castle.

"All you have to do," Khaos explained, "is tell me an abridged version of the events in the past thirteen days."

_Well, that's not too hard,_ Xemnas thought. "In one breath," Khaos added.

Xemnas frowned, but began to breathe deep and long, preparing for his trial.

After one looooooooong breath, Xemnas began to tell the events of the last thirteen days, starting in a whisper and getting louder as he ran out of breath,

"RoxasandAxelhavebeenfilmingthememberssinging,Axellostabigchunkofhishair,gotmad,andtookitoutonme,Iwasingreatpainandongreatpainmedsforatime,AxelshavedhisheadsoIwouldn'tbetheonlyonewithouthair,butVexenfixeditwithapotion,AxelandRoxashavebeenworkingonaprojectformyreturn,SaixsmashedRoxas'hand,theiPodhasbeenactingskitzy,Marluxiaisbeinggay(what'snew),VexenandIhadanaccidentalyaoimomentandLARXENETRIEDTORAPEME!!"

Khaos somehow understood all of it as her associate passed out from the blood loss. She smiled, "I don't blame you Larxene. He's just so rape-able." Larxene hid behind Lexaeus.

"Vexen!" Khaos held up her hand for a high five, "Here's for trying!" Vexen sheepishly took the high five and walked away.

"That reminds me," She turned to breathless Xemnas, "SSS isn't cureable! I just did that for fun!"

Xemnas growled getting into his battle stance. He stopped and held his head, "Too lightheaded to pummel authoress…"

"Also…" Khaos held her hand out. Axel handed over the camera.

"You were in on it, too!?" Saïx bellowed.

Khaos nodded and Saïx summoned his claymore. The echo of keys tapping filled the room and _–POOF!_ Saix was tied up to where he couldn't even wiggle. "It's good to be the authoress."

"Now," Khaos said turning to the rest, "does anyone else want to try and attack me?"

No, everyone agreed, for once!

Khaos turned to Roxas and Axel, "Now I want to see that project you were working on!"

Axel made a portal and went rushing out. Roxas pulled out a DVD in a case. Axel came back in rolling a huge, flat-screen television and a DVD player.

"Whoa!" Xemnas said, "Where'd you get that?"

Roxas grinned as he said, "Beginners' Luck!"

Xemnas furrowed his eyebrows, and looked to Luxord, who was holding his head in his hands. He apparently didn't know that Roxas could count cards, and Xemnas wasn't going to enlighten him.

They connected all the wires and inserted the DVD. What came next shocked everyone.

The usual bright blue of the starting screen was gray, and the upbeat music had been replaced by a more melancholic tune, "Organization Idol! Showing that Nobodies may not have a heart, but they sure have soul!"

The announcer began, "Tonight, we're going to find out who's going to Twilight Town! Let's start at the top, shall we?"

Clips of Xemnas singing were accompanied by the audio from the actual song. Everyone took turns looking at their Superior on the screen and right beside them.

"That's enough! That's enough!" A British voice said, everyone could tell that it was Luxord.

"Yeah dawg, that was so pimp, ya know!" another voice said, Axel raised his hand signaling it was him.

"I agree with him, you seem to have what it will take in our competition," a distinctly female voice said. Larxene shook her head.

"I was the cheesy announcer," Roxas said. Khaos raised her hand, recognizing her lines.

"That's right," Luxord's character said, "you're going to Twilight Town!"

A check mark appeared imposed on the final image of the Superior. "ACCEPTED!"

"So our judges Soxmin, Darxny, and Aluxap, have found their first contestant!" the announcer began.

* * *

The contest continued, eliminating II and III. Vexen was eliminated twice!

Zexion sang his song, and was accepted by the others. Two were on their way to Twilight Town.

"The rest are up next after this commercial break!"

* * *

Demyx, Axel and Roxas were all on screen singing the viral Telephone song.

"Nobody Mobile: We'd raise the bar if the bar existed."

* * *

"And we're back on Organization Idol! It's time for the next round of vocal hopefuls!

Saïx, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, and Marluxia were all eliminated with Soxmin's new REJECTED! stamp.

Larxene was up next, and she expected the same fate. The judges let her sing and then commented.

"Such enthusiasm!" Aluxap squealed, "I love it! You're like pure energy in your singing!" How Ironic!

"I love it, dawg!" Darxny agreed, "You get my vote!"

The checkmark appeared, "ACCEPTED!!"

Larxene smiled with pride.

Roxas was eliminated from the competition, and the screen went dark. The Pause symbol appeared in the upper right corner.

"Okay," Roxas spoke up, "Now is time for the 'Live' finale!"

Axel ushered the three remaining contestants up to the front, each had a scowl on their face.

"Okay," Khaos said, "I think this is the point where we vote one of the contestants off. Everyone must vote and only vote once! So raise your hand to get rid of Xemnas!"

Roxas held his hand high. "Okay one vote for Mr. Superior! Larxene?"

Lexaeus and Vexen raised their hands, "Two for Larxene, and the rest of you vote by default for Zex."

Khaos turned to Zexion, "In the real world, you'd probably have a record deal anyway. Now, go sit down"

Zexion sulked and sat down beside the other underground members.

Khaos clapped her hands together, "Now it's time for the final performances of the finalists! I would let you choose your own song but that wouldn't be much fun! So we're going to let the iPod's algorithms choose for us. Number I you're song is…" She huffed a laugh slightly as she showed the Superior his song.

"No," He said flatly.

"T'was math that chose this fate," the Authoress waxed poetically, "and if thou disobey it, you'll get the back of me hand!"

Xemnas sighed, "Okay, okay, I'll sing the stupid song!"

The audience cheered as Xemnas prepared to sing,

"_Love me tender,_

_Love me sweet,_

_Never let me go._

_You have made my life complete,_

_And I love you so._

_Love me tender,_

_Love me true,_

_All my dreams fulfilled._

_For my darlin I love you,_

_And I always will."_

The Organization was laughing to hard to hear the rest.

Khaos spoke trying to hold in her laughter, "That was great! It takes real guts to sing that kind of song."

Xemnas sat down his head hung in shame. Saïx scooted over to him, "I thought it was good!"

A cough was heard, "coughSuckUpcough." Saïx turned to its general direction and growled.

Another cough, "coughManCrushcough." Saïx gave another growl.

Khaos told them to stop it, "Now don't anger the rabid dog! coughBastardcough."

Saïx glared daggers at her. "I seem to have something stuck in my throat," she replied innocently.

She shuffled the songs again and handed the results to Larxene,

"_Oh you make me lay down_

_Oh you make me forget I am here_

_Oh you're making me safe now_

_Oh you make the faces disappear_

_I'm all right by the way_

_Everyone saves the day_

_Sometimes I feel it_

_Send it up_

_Send it up now_

_Send it up_

_Send it up_

_Send it up now_

_Send it up"_

"Okay," Khaos said as The Savage Nymph finished her song, "Now our two finalists will go up to their lovely seats and let the rest of us vote."

The two shrugged and did as they were told.

"Raise your hands for Xemnas," Khaos asked. Vexen, Xigbar, Axel, Luxord, and, of course, Saïx raised their hands. Well, Saïx lifted his feet up into the air so she guessed that was a vote.

"Larxene?" Lexaeus, Marluxia, Roxas, Xaldin and Zexion raised their hands.

Great! The vote was evenly split. So numbers would have to do the work. She opened up the stopwatch and made it run. "Okay someone say stop randomly," Khaos said.

"Stop?" Roxas was confused. Khaos stopped the watch and looked at the number. If it was odd, Xemnas won. If it was even, Larxene won.

She motioned to the two above, "And the Winner is…. XEMNAS!!"

Roxas un-paused the DVD and celebratory music played. He popped the DVD out of the player and replaced it with another, "You know that project we told you about?" Xemnas nodded. "Well this is it."

Roxas played the DVD. Melancholic piano music began the song,

"_This is the clock upon the wall_

_This is the story of us all" _

The screen showed a group picture of the XIII.

"_This is a soldier and his gun"_

Xigbar was seen striking a secret-agent-like pose.

"_Pictures of you, pictures of me_

_Hung upon your wall for the world to see_

_Pictures of you, pictures of me_

_Remind us all of what we used to be"_

Pictures of the original six flooded the screen, pictures from when they were whole.

Vexen leaned over to Xemnas, "That's right after _he _found you."

Xemnas nodded at the memory. It was one of his first days there. "Where did they get those pictures?"

"Blame the Dusks…"

"That's what you always do…"

The song continued to play adding more and more pictures of the past.

* * *

The song finished, and Khaos clapped, "Awesome display of creativity, there Roxie!" The others got up and stretched, except for Saïx who was still bound.

"Wait a minute!" Khaos screamed, "I will not let this have such a sappy ending! I refuse!"

Xemnas stated, "Well what do you plan to do about it?"

Khaos pondered and another tapping of keys echoed throughout the room.

_POOF! _Everyone, save for the authoress and her two agents, had an image flash across their eyes which caused intense nosebleeds.

"What were you doing?!" Zexion aimed the remark to Numbers I and VII, while trying to stem the flow of blood.

"It was fan art!" Xemnas retorted.

"It looked pretty real to me!" Xigbar stated thickly.

"What if we end up like him?!" Vexen asked pointing to the authoress' associate lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood.

"Oh," Khaos said, "I forgot about him… Get rid of the body for me, will ya?"

Xemnas pushed The Almighty Authoress through a portal to who knows where, just to get rid of her. "Number VIII, get the mop!

* * *

Khaos: That's the end!

Xemnas: Did you have to do that?

Khaos: Yup!

Xemnas: Well, what's with this 'The Almighty Authoress' stuff?

Khaos: That's my title for the Organization.

Xemnas: My Organization?!

Khaos: Yup!

Xemnas: Well, then what's you're number?

Khaos: i.

Xemnas: i?

Khaos –sigh— 'i' represents the square root of negative one, which is an imaginary number thus 'i' for 'imaginary'

Xemnas: O.o

Khaos: 'Imaginary' as in 'Doesn't exist!'

Xemnas: ooohh… clever.

Khaos: I know, eh?

* * *

The (real) End.

A/N: Thanks to all of you that reviewed and or favorited! Those really made my day!

LUV's

The Almighty Authoress

Khaos

* * *

The (really real) End.


End file.
